A Ride For Sally

When we're young, it's difficult and even hurtful to learn that people we admired--whether celebrities or family members, teachers or others in our everyday lives--are, well, people.  We might find out that our favorite actor, writer, athlete, aunt or uncle did immoral or even illegal things.  Sometimes finding out the dark side of someone we took as a model for one aspect or another of our lives is painful even after we thought we'd "seen it all".

One celebrity about whom I never became disillusioned is Sally Ride.  In fact, I found myself admiring her even more as the years went by.  It seems that being the first woman in space was just one of many accomplishments in her life.  Few people have ever done more to encourage girls and young women to study math, science and technology--fields from which they were too often discouraged, dissuaded or even bullied out of studying or working.  

I think now of Sophie Germain, whose parents took away her clothes--and heat and light at night--in an attempt to stop her from studying mathematics, which was deemed inappropriate for a "proper" young lady.  I also think, in this vein, about 1977 Nobel Laureate Rosalyn Sussman Yalow, whose parents wanted her to get a college education but protested when she decided to study Physics on the grounds that "no man would want to marry" her.  

If Dr. Ride faced such opposition from her family or anyone else, she never let on.  In fact, she did not let on much about her personal life, including her relatively brief marriage to a man and her later, much longer partnership with a woman.  Most people did not know about those things until they read her obituary three years ago.

Whatever the circumstances of her life, she understood the difficulties young women and girls faced--and still face--in pursuing STEM careers.  So, she did everything she could to help them--and their teachers, who sometimes were not confident of their own abilities to encourage their students in those areas.

Here she is helping a student understand some of the principles of gyroscopic motion with--what else?--a bicycle wheel:



She would have been 64 years old today. If I could be in Northern Virginia two weeks from now and I were still racing, I'd take part in the Ride Sally Ride.

What "Other Than Honorable" Means

Today is Memorial Day here in the US.

Last night, I listened to a radio program in which the host brought up a little-discussed point:  When “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” was in effect, many LGBT members of the Armed Forces received “other than honorable” discharges.  According to this host, there are estimated to be about 50,000 such former service members here in New York City alone.

As some of you know, getting an other-than-honorable discharge has all sorts of consequences.  It can prevent you from getting certain jobs.  Worse yet, it can prevent you from getting certain services you might need from the Armed Forces as well as city, state and the Federal government.   And, although nobody has an exact number, nobody doubts that at least some of those veterans are homeless as well as jobless as a result of their discharges.

The Irish Vote For Gay Marriage

Having grown up Catholic enough to be an altar boy (and having gotten some of my education in a Catholic school), I am as fascinated as I am gratified by what’shappened in Ireland.

As you probably know by now, the Irish Republic made history the other day when it legalized same-sex marriage—by popular vote.  Yes, the Irish people themselves chose to legalize unions between two people of the same gender.  In every other nation or other jurisdiction in which it’s been legalized, the feat was accomplished by the vote of a legislative body, an executive decree or—as in the case of most US states in which same-sex marriage is legal—a judge’s order.  

What’s so fascinating to me is that, not so long ago, Ireland was regarded as one of the most resolutely Roman Catholic societies in the world.  The Irish were considered to be as devout as the Poles, Spanish and Quebecois.  Now, of course, gay marriage is legal in Spain and Quebec (as it is in the rest of Canada).  Some of the nuns in my Catholic school came from Ireland; the same was true of many other Catholic schools in the US at that time (the 1960’s and early 1970’s).  Also, as I recall, two of the priests in my parish were Irish.

Now, in Ireland as in much of the west, the young are not pursuing vocations as priests and nuns.  Many explanations have been offered for this phenomenon, one of the most plausible being increased prosperity.  Many priests in the US (and, as I’ve discovered, elsewhere) are coming from India, Nigeria, the Philippines and other impoverished countries where Catholic missionaries have been active.  Piety seems to pair much better with poverty than with prosperity.  As someone smarter than I am remarked, “Give them MTV and they’ll never go to seminary!”

That point is certainly valid.  However, one way in which Ireland was different from those countries (and others when they were turning out lots of priests and nuns) was that it was—and is—one of the world’s best-educated countries.  Probably the closest parallel we have today to pre-1990s Ireland is Cuba:  Nearly everybody is literate but also poor.

One difference, though, between Ireland past and Cuba present is that in Eire, education was controlled, directly or indirectly, by the Church.  Early in its history, about the only way an Irish person could get an education was to become a priest or nun.  They, in turn, would open most of the schools—and control the curriculum—in their country.

In the 1990s, young Irish people finally found opportunities to use their educations.   They seized upon advances in technology and the business world to turn their country into a center for research and financial services.  That, of course, furthered young people’s opportunity for education, both in their own country and abroad.  

Given what I’ve described, however sketchily, it seems less surprising that Irish attitudes about gender and sexuality have changed as quickly as they have.  On the other hand, it’s more surprising that abortion is still illegal there.  Perhaps that will be the next change in the Emerald Isle. 

How To Ride Like A Lady

Historian Laurel Thatcher Ulrich has written, "Well-behaved women seldom make history".

She, of course, is correct.  However, when women are entering previously-unchartered territory, we sometimes have to behave in accordance with accepted gender norms in order to hold onto our places in those worlds.  In other words, we can't be perceived as a threat to men.  On the other hand, we also have to do whatever we're doing in our own way--and, indeed, we often have to figure out what that way is--in order not to be seen as inferior to the men who are doing whatever it is we're doing.

I know from whence I speak: In my transition from living as a man to my life as a woman, I have been criticized for being too much like a man and too much like a woman--sometimes by the very same people.  The same people who told me I was too aggressive on the job told me, in the next breath, that I was too submissive--"like a woman."  It's a bit like telling a woman she throws too hard for a girl but that she "throws like a girl".

I thought about that when I came across this list of "don'ts" for female cyclists that was published in the New York World in 1895:

Don’t be a fright.

Don’t faint on the road.

Don’t wear a man’s cap.

Don’t wear tight garters.

Don’t forget your toolbag

Don’t attempt a “century.”

Don’t coast. It is dangerous.

Don’t boast of your long rides.

Don’t criticize people’s “legs.”

Don’t wear loud hued leggings.

Don’t cultivate a “bicycle face.”

Don’t refuse assistance up a hill.

Don’t wear clothes that don’t fit.

Don’t neglect a “light’s out” cry.

Don’t wear jewelry while on a tour.

Don’t race. Leave that to the scorchers.

Don’t wear laced boots. They are tiresome.

Don’t imagine everybody is looking at you.

Don’t go to church in your bicycle costume.

Don’t wear a garden party hat with bloomers.

Don’t contest the right of way with cable cars.

Don’t chew gum. Exercise your jaws in private.

Don’t wear white kid gloves. Silk is the thing.

Don’t ask, “What do you think of my bloomers?”

Don’t use bicycle slang. Leave that to the boys.

Don’t go out after dark without a male escort.

Don’t go without a needle, thread and thimble.

Don’t try to have every article of your attire “match.”

Don’t let your golden hair be hanging down your back.

Don’t allow dear little Fido to accompany you

Don’t scratch a match on the seat of your bloomers.

Don’t discuss bloomers with every man you know.

Don’t appear in public until you have learned to ride well.

Don’t overdo things. Let cycling be a recreation, not a labor.

Don’t ignore the laws of the road because you are a woman.

Don’t try to ride in your brother’s clothes “to see how it feels.”

Don’t scream if you meet a cow. If she sees you first, she will run.

Don’t cultivate everything that is up to date because yon ride a wheel.

Don’t emulate your brother’s attitude if he rides parallel with the ground.

Don’t undertake a long ride if you are not confident of performing it easily.

Don’t appear to be up on “records” and “record smashing.” That is sporty.

Some of these "don'ts" made me cringe.  But I had to get a laugh out of "Don't try to ride in your brother's clothes 'to see how it feels'!"

A Real Expert

The more I hear about the Girl Scouts' policy about transgender girls, the more I like the Girl Scouts.  Here is what Andrea Bastiani Archibald, PhD--the "Chief Girl Expert" of the Girl Scouts USA (Don't you love that title)--wrote on the Girl Scout Blog:

Girl Scouts has valued and supported all girls since our inception in 1912. There is not one type of girl. Every girl's sense of self, path to it, and how she is supported is unique.

The foundation of diversity that Juliette Gordon Low established runs throughout Girl Scouting to this day. Our mission to build "girls of courage, confidence, and character, who make the world a better place" extends to all members, and through our program, girls develop the necessary leadership skills to advance diversity and promote tolerance.

If a girl is recognized by her family, school and community as a girl and lives culturally as a girl, Girl Scouts is an organization that can serve her in a setting that is both emotionally and physically safe.  Inclusion of transgender girls is handled at a council level on a case by case basis, with the welfare and best interests of all members as a top priority.

As we face a complex and rapidly changing 21st century, our nation needs all girls to reach their full potential, which has been our focus for more than 103 years.

Re-Named In The Church Of England?

"It's a girl!"

I sent a "birth" announcement beginning with that line after I woke from my gender-reassignment surgery. For the time of my "birth", of course, I mentioned the date and hour my surgery was completed, and that I was "born" a healthy girl who weighs "I won't tell you how much".

Of course, that message was meant to be humorous--at least somewhat.  You see, I felt as if I had been born.  Surprisingly, a female colleague  who had given birth not long before then believed, perhaps more than anyone else, that I had indeed been born.

Now it seems that some clergy in the Church of England understand--and want to recognize--our births into our lives as the people we really are.

Reverend Chris Newlands, the vicar of the Lancaster Priory, has proposed a motion to the General Synod to debate plans to introduce a new ceremony.  That rite would be akin to baptism and mark the new identities of those who undergo a gender transition.

Rev. Newlands was spurred into action by a young trans man who asked whether he could be re-baptized.  "Once you've been baptized, you're baptized," the priest said.

"But I was baptized as a girl, under a different name," the parishioner explained. 

As I understand it, the Church of England is much like its American offshoot, the Episcopal Church, in that the official church view on transgenderism, or many other issues, is that two opposing views "can be properly held".   That gives local church and parish officials a lot of leeway to interpret doctrine.  So while there are priests like Reverend Newlands who see the need for a re-baptism ceremony, and individual parishes that welcome trans people, there are still conservative clergy, officials and congregations that will not accept gay clergy or same-sex marriage. 

So, while I am glad Reverend Newlands has trying to start a discussion of the issue, I think it will be a while before we can tell whether the motion he proposed has any chance of passing, let alone whether the church will adopt the ceremony he has in mind.

Transgender Girl Scouts!

They're letting boys become Girl Scouts!  No....

No, it's not happening.  But that's what all those hate "socially conservative" and superstitious "religious" groups with "Family" in their name would have you believe.

Boys in makeup and dresses!

How many times have we heard that canard?  They are not boys or even "boys who identify as girls".  They are girls who happen to have been assigned the male gender at birth.

Boys in the tents with girls!

See above.  They're not boys.  And, contrary to the fears being mongered by all of those "family" groups, there's not a single report, anywhere, of a trans girl or woman sexually harassing, assaulting or molesting anyone.  We may not be angels, but we frankly have better things to do.

Whoever's in charge of the Girl Scouts of America seems to understand as much.  At least, that's the sense one gets from this statement on their website:

Girl Scouts is proud to be the premiere leadership organization for girls in the country. Placement of transgender youth is handled on a case-by-case basis, with the welfare and best interests of the child and the members of the troop/group in question a top priority. That said, if the child is recognized by the family and school/community as a girl and lives culturally as a girl, then Girl Scouts is an organization that can serve her in a setting that is both emotionally and physically safe.

Of course the bigoted Christian right won't let that one lie. They believe it's a
"slap in the face to Christian parents."

Ah, yes--that canard again.  Whenever we get some of the rights other people have, "Christians" cry "We're being persecuted!" 

Let them howl. The Girl Scouts are, at least, being the leadership organization they say they are.

Maybe I'll buy some more of their cookies.  Let me tell you, the Somosa's are amazing.  So are the good old-fashioned Thin Mints.  And the Rah-Rah Raisins.  (What was that about my diet?)

I Heard About This Rumour...

There's a Rumour in the NBA...

No, that's not something a British sports journalist wrote about American professional basketball, though it could be.  (As to what that rumour might be, I'll leave it up to your imagination! ;-)).  Actually, it's the dream of a 12-year-old boy in Kentucky.

It just happens that the boy's name is Rumour. Still, this story--of a 12-year-old boy who wants to play in the NBA--would not be remarkable except for one other detail.

Since you're reading this blog, you might have guessed what that detail is. Yes, Rumour was assigned the female sex at birth. But, from the moment he could talk, he has insisited he is a boy.

The last time he wore a dress, at age 5, he insisted, "I'll never wear this again." He traded dolls for tools, and likes to ride dirtbikes and play in the dirt.  

"We fought it for as long as we could," says Brandon Brock, the stepfather of Rumour Lee Setters.  "We finally gave in" and, he recalls, realized his son wasn't going through "a phase".  Now his mother, Rachel, says, "I wouldn't have Rumour any other way."

Whether or not he makes it to the NBA, it looks like he's already experienced victory.

Can't Escape From Hate, Even In Death

On Thursday the 14th, Rachel Bryk's body was recovered.  She was found floating in the Hudson River, near the spot where she jumped from the George Washington Bridge three weeks earlier.

Seeing at least one of the comments in response to an article about the recovery of her body, it's easy to see why she killed herself.  In addition to the daily pain she experienced from her medical conditions, she put up with bullying and harassment.  Some even taunted her to kill herself.

Now she is no longer in physical pain (or so I assume).  However, as the comments indicate, she is still being tormented by haters. 

What ever happened to respect for the dead?
 

He Crashed The Train Because He's Gay

A few weeks ago, Time magazine's cover trumpeted a "transgender tipping point".  Indeed, more and more people are starting to understand--and accept--us.  Some of this, of course, has to do with celebrities like Bruce Jenner "coming out" as trans.  And I think it also has to do with the fact that more and more people are simply aware that some neighbor, co-worker, friend or even family member is trans.

As happy as I am about this development, I have also seen a dark side to it.  Those who hate us are becoming more virulent and, in some cases, violent.  They are going to more extreme methods to oppose us in whatever ways they can.  Those who don't have the means or wherewithal to do such things are coming up with ever-more-implausible and simply loopy notions about us and the terrible things we're responsible for.

All of what I've said also applies to gays and lesbians. As more states and countries legalize gay marriage, homophobes attribute everything from natural disasters to security breaches--and the old favorites like paedophilia--to gay people.

Add the recent Amtrak crash to the list.  Sandra Rose--who can actually make Ann Coulter seem like Stephen Jay Gould--claims that Brandon Bostian, the engineer of that train, crashed it because he wanted media attention.  He had been campaigning for the government to adopt greater rail safety marriage--and legalize gay marriage.

Now, how she can conflate his advocacy of gay marriage with his rants about the government's inaction about rail safety--and how she can say that he crashed the train to call attention to them--is something that, perhaps, takes a mind greater than mine to comprehend, let alone explain.  If you can walk me through Ms. Rose's logic, please do so.

Robert Rayford: The First AIDS Victim In North America?

On 5 June 1981, the US Centers for Disease Control published its now-famous report describing rare lung infections in five previously-healthy gay men in Los Angeles.  This is commonly seen as the beginning of the AIDS era.

These days, just about everybody knows how HIV/AIDS is transmitted.  But no one seems to know for sure where it originated or why, in the US, its first victims were gay men and intravenous drug users.

What's also not clear is when the virus, or whatever causes AIDS, originated.  That question grew even more puzzling after the tissues of a 16-year-old boy who died on this date in 1969 were tested nearly two decades later and found to have been infected with AIDS.

At the time, he was known only as Robert R.  A few years ago, his full name--Robert Rayford--was disclosed.  He was born and died in St. Louis, far from the first clusters of the disease, and apparently never traveled outside the midwestern US. 

In 1968,  he checked into City Hospital with lesions all over his legs and genitals. He also complained of shortness of breath and fatigue, and claimed he had experiencing those symptoms since at least since late 1966.  

Those symptoms and the lesions and sores would come to be known as the hallmarks of AIDS.  The lesions and sores were particularly puzzling, as they were of the type known as Kaposi's Sarcoma which, until that time, had been found only in elderly men of Jewish and Eastern and Southern European ancestry.  Robert, in contrast was an African-American teenager.

Further diagnosis revealed a sexually transmitted chlamydial disease called lymphogranumola venerum (LGV).  It, too, did not respond to standard treatments and the chlamydial bacterium was found in Robert's bloodstream.  Up to that time, no one had ever found it in a person's bloodstream. 

Some believe that he was gay or bisexual, which the doctors who diagnosed and treated him wouldn't have known to ask.  He did admit to having sexual activity "with a neighborhood girl", though he wasn't more specific.  This has led to speculation that he was a child prostitute or was sexually abused.

Whatever the case, his condition deteriorated rapidly.  His whole body swelled with fluid.  Doctors tried all of the proven treatments for his conditions; none of them worked.  Most troubling of all, the infection spread to his lungs.

What all of this meant, of course, was a meltdown of Robert's immune system.  Even the timeframe of his illness and deterioration corresponded with that of early cases in the AIDS epidemic.  He also died in a way that was very typical of early AIDS cases:  from pneumonia contracted in his weakened state.

We all know that the early days of the AIDS epidemic devastated the gay male community:  Nearly all gay men in that time knew another gay man who died from the disease, and most of us who knew gay men also knew of someone who succumbed to the illness.  During the 1990s and in the early 2000s, the number of gay and bisexual men who contracted the disease fell dramatically, thanks to awareness campaigns and better treatments. But the numbers began to pick up again.  Some blame complacency; others point to the fact that most of the new cases were young men who didn't come of age during the early days of the epidemic.

I have seen very little mention, however, of how much of a swath HIV/AIDS has cut through the transgender community.  At least, it seems that no one outside the community is talking about it.  Actual statistics are hard to come by, but when you realize that we have rates of unemployment and poverty far higher than those of any other population, it's hard not to think that we are one of the groups of people most affected by the disease. Also, too many of us have engaged in sex work simply to survive, and I would guess that we are also more likely to experience, or have experienced, sexual violence of one kind or another.  (How many rapists use condoms?)  Finally, far too many of us don't get the medical care we need, whether through lack of insurance or phobias developed from encounters with transphobic health care providers. Or we simply, like Robert Rayford, do not have a way of telling our providers what we're experiencing, and unless a provider has a lot of contact with gay and trans people, he or she simply wouldn't--as Robert's doctors couldn't--know what to ask.

How Much Are Those Lilacs On The Wall

One way I know it's really spring is when I'm riding--whether to work or for fun--and my peripheral vision increases.

It seems that as the days grow longer and the air milder, I am less focused on my immediate space than I am when I'm exhaling steam and there's snow and ice around me.  Could it be that I simply have to notice more (ice patches and such) immediately in front of, and around, me during the winter?  Or does my scope increase when I remove hoods, balaclavas and such and have only my helmet on my head?

Maybe I've discovered a corollary to the material world:  Perhaps the human field of vision expands when warmed and contracts when chilled.

Hmm...Could I have made some discovery that, for once and for all, links the physical sciences with what we know about human consciousness?

All right...Before I get all grandiose on you (too late?), I'll show you a couple of things I saw while riding to work this week.  There's nothing profound here:  just a couple of moments I captured on my cell phone.


Make what you will of this, but the things that make me happiest about Spring are cherry blossoms and lilacs.  Both came late this year, which is probably why they seemed all the more vivid to me.  I paid ten bucks for a bouquet of lilacs that's on my table.  Perhaps I could have taken them from here:

With the money I saved, maybe I wouldn't have to ask, "How much is that doggie in the window?" 

 Instead, I'd leave it to Patti Page:

A Trans Man Is Attacked: It's All About Misogyny

I realize that in this blog, I have recounted many--too many--stories about harrassment, assaults and even killings perpetrated by haters against trans women.

While we are certainly more likely to be the victims of hate crimes than other people, I don't want to give the impression that all transphobic violence is committed by cisgender men against trans women (or males who violate societal gender norms).  Indeed, too many trans men also are abused, beaten or worse by those who simply cannot abide our existence.

Yesterday, Paul Wettengel was charged with hate crimes for his alleged assault in a Boulder, Colorado bus stop last month.  His victim was a trans man.

According to a published account of the incident, a man asked Wettengel for a lighter.  Wettengel shoved him.  A third man--who would become the victim of the crimes for which Wettengel is now charged--tried to intervene by getting in between them.

Wettengel punched him in the face and, apparently realizing the victim is trans, grabbed his breasts and stomach while calling him derogatory names related to homosexuality as well as transgenderism.

The incident, if it was anything like it's been reported, shows that at the root of all transphobia (and homophobia) is misogyny.  Wettengel attacked the trans man whom he perceived as "a girl pretending to be a guy"; too many trans women are victimized because we are perceived as men who don't have the balls to live as men and who choose, instead, to be female.  Gay men are also perceived that way and similarly victimized, just as lesbians are attacked for being women who think they are men or who think they're too good for men.  

How can anyone hate women so much, knowing that we're all born from them?

One Of The Things We Have In Common, Unfortunately...

In 2007-2008 IMPACT, the LGBT health and development program of Northwestern University, conducted a survey of LGBT youth in Chicago.  They conducted another round of interviews in 2012-13.

Among their findings are:

From IMPACT's website.

 

Coming Out In The Company

When I first "came out" at work, some of my colleagues and supervisors were supportive; others were surprised.  A few were hostile.  The hostile ones were invariably cowards:  They expressed their disdain or hatred of--OK, let's call it what it is:  their bigotry--only when there weren't other witnesses to it.  

Whatever I endured, I reminded myself that I was in one of the better lines of work for trans people.  I simply could not have imagined what my experience might have been like had I been, say, on Wall Street or in the military.

Or the CIA.  I didn't think that people would even broach the subject in "The Company".  In 1988, when computer expert Tracey Ballard "came out" as a lesbian, openly gay Americans were not allowed to have security clearances.  Ballard's disclosure led to a lengthy investigation and made her an outcast in an organization in which homophobia was well-entrenched.

I didn't know Ms. Ballard's story at the time I started my transition. But I didn't think the CIA--or, for that matter, most other government agencies--had become much more welcoming than they were in the '80's or earlier.

However, around the time of my transition, things were starting to change.  A few Federal employees made known  the discrimination they endured. One such case resulted in a landmark ruling for a retired Army Special Forces colonel whose offer of a job as a terrorism specialist at the Library of Congress when she revealed her intention of starting the job as a woman.  Now other Federal agencies--including the CIA--have adopted protocols to protect transgender employees.  

One of those employees is someone identified only as "Jenny", a Middle East expert who "came out" to her supervisor three years ago.  Today, according to the account I read, her identity is "an afterthought" to her fellow employees.

Tracey Ballard could not have hoped for such a happy ending--in 1988.  At least some can hope now.  

The Dog Whistle

There's one sure-fire way to tell when people enjoy privilege they don't even realize they have.  When people who don't have the same privilege get a piece of it, the ones who already have such privilege howl with outrage.  They see themselves as persecuted, and the ones who've gained a little bit of parity with them as menaces who are infringing upon their "rights".

Jeb Bush--who is widely expected to declare his candidacy for the Republican nomination to next year's Presidential election--said that Obama is using his "coercive power" to "limit religious freedom". 

When right-wing politicians talk like that, you know they--and their audiences--are thinking in particular of same-sex marriage.  It's almost as if such whining about "religious freedom" or the persecution Christians supposedly face are really just codes for their abhorrence that LGBT people are finally being allowed to live the kinds of lives straight and cisgender people have always taken for granted.

Really, it's no different from how some politicians--in some cases, the very same ones who feel so threatened by same-sex marriage--talk about "states' rights" or "the inner city" when they want to work their audiences into a lather about people darker than themselves getting the opportunities, and the same avenues of redress, they have.  In other words, it's how they talk about race without mentioning it.

Ian Haney Lopez refers to the use of such coded language--whether it's about blacks, gays, trans people or Muslims--"dog whistle politics" in his book by that name.  Hmm...What does that say about those who use it--or, worse, those who sit up and pay attention when they hear it?

Thank You, Mom!

I am one of the lucky ones.

My decision to live as the woman I am cost me friends and relationships with professional colleagues as well as some relatives.

But Mom stood with me through all of it. Whatever and whoever else I don't have, I still have her.  That makes me one lucky gal.  

Thank you, Mom.  Happy Mother's Day!