Imagine
doing something you love—your calling, as some of you might say—for years and
years. But all of that time you’re
keeping a secret from others and lying to yourself.
Finally,
one day, you reveal that secret. To be
more exact, you stop wearing the mask and telling the lies you created in order
to keep that secret a secret.
That secret
is not about a past crime or other indiscretion. Rather, it’s what you’ve always known about
yourself and it flies in the face of everything your friends, family and
co-workers have always seen—or, at least, what you’ve allowed them so see.
You simply
couldn’t keep that secret anymore. It
would have taken everything you could muster, if it hadn’t already: Nothing is heavier than a secret. Nobody is strong enough to keep it forever.
So you let
it go and take on the truth about yourself.
And you live it. What next?
Well,
depending on your situation, you might lose friends, family members—or even
your job.
All of
those things happen to too many of us after we start showing up for work,
family gatherings, school or other aspects of our lives as the people we
actually are. Some of us are shunned;
family members and friends decide we’re no longer good enough for them. Some of us are humiliated and harassed on our
jobs, the latter often being among the tactics used to push us out or get us
to quit.
Everything
I’ve just described happened to Tamara Lusardi.
As a kid, she grew up on US Air Force bases around the world. Then, for three decades, she worked for the US
Army in various capacities and even served in the first Gulf War. She found her niche as a software quality
ensurance specialist for the Aviation and Missile Research, Development and
Engineering Center at the Redstone Arsenal near Huntsville, Alabama.
But after
she started her transition, superior officers limited her access to the women’s
restroom, referred to her by male pronouns and her birth name and intentionally
outed her. While working as male, she
was praised; after she came to work as a woman, she was removed from her post
and her professional reputation was irreparably damaged.
Three years
ago, she filed a complaint with the Equal Employment Opportunity
Commission. On 1 April, the EEOC decided
that her civil rights had been violated and that Army officers had created a
hostile work environment when they subjected her to ridicule and embarrassment.
According
to the Transgender Law Center, Army officials have 30 days to ask the EEOC to
reconsider its ruling. According to a
spokesman, the Army will comply with the ruling.
Lusardi
says she hopes this ruling will set a precedent that will make life easier for
other transgender women and men. On the
other hand, she points out, many people still need to be educated about us and
Federal policy still allows most healthcare insurers. to exclude transgender
people.
N.B. The article I linked was sent to me by my father.
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