A Decision

To try to solve the dilemma I described yesterday...What did I do?

I called Dr. Bowers' office.

Robin, with whom I've talked before, must've heard just about every fear, anxiety or crazy situation anyone who's on her way to the surgery might encounter. But she's not jaded: She is friendly and compassionate.

Actually, what she did is to reinforce an innate sense that I've developed: that I can, and will do the best and right things, and things will work out. She assured me that after I'm discharged from the hospital, I won't need help getting out of bed or doing day-to-day things. There also won't be any bandages to change. I'll need only to insert my catheter, which I can do alone. And I can't exert myself physically: It'll take a few weeks before I can bike, swim, or engage in any other sport or fitness activity. And then I'll have to start slowly.

There is only a very slight chance of complications after the surgery. And if I experience them, I can go to my regular doctor, she assured me.

If I want to stay with Mom and Dad after I leave the hospital, she said, they won't have to do anything except let me rest. Really, all I want from Mom is moral support, and that she's willing to give (and has been giving) me.


But, oddly enough, hearing that swayed me toward coming home after the surgery. Dominick said he'd help me, and would even let me stay with him. Millie would probably continue to do whatever I can't do for my cats, and I could call on favors from other people, if you know what I mean. And, on that odd chance that I have any post-op complication, I could just hop in a cab to my doctor.

After hearing Robin, I knew I could make the choice not to stay with Mom and Dad, and not add to any tension between them. It would be just that: a choice, for me. They are still going to the hospital with me; that is when I'd most want and need them for moral support, anyway. And, of course, I will always have the knowledge that Mom was willing to do even more than that for me.

So far it looks like the proverbial "win-win." I'm happy with the scenario, and when I called Mom and told her, I could feel her relief even before she voiced it. Now, I hope that Dad, my brother and whoever else will stop giving her "grief," as she described it.

Now I have 176 more days. Any more crises or decisions?