25 April 2009

On My Bicycle, I Have A Wardrobe Malfunction

I spent a good part of this day on the verge of a "wardrobe malfunction," as Janet Jackson so famously called it.

The top I wore had no sleeves and two shoulder straps that were about the same width as most of the bras I have. The neckline is low, and there is an elastic pleat underneath the breast. From there, the top flares down to my waist.

I wore it on a bike ride I took today. And I wondered why men who drove by were paying so much attention to me until I stopped at a store and a 6'4" (or thereabouts) man was staring down to my neckline.

It was in danger of becoming my waistband, or my hemline. Yes, that neckline that I didn't think was plunging was actually sliding down!

Now, I don't have particularly big breasts. My mother doesn't, either, and true to the doctor's prediction, I'm half a cup size smaller than mom. According to my doctor and everything I've read, a trans woman will typically end up with breasts that are one cup size smaller than her mother's after two years of taking hormones.

Anyway...I may not have mountains. But it seems that I have developed a rather noticeable valley. So, today I made a great discovery (Will it change the world?): Men's eyes are drawn to the clevage, and if it's noticeable, they'll take notice. Perhaps my clevage makes my breasts seem bigger than they are--assuming, of course, only the cleavage and not the breasts are seen.

The latter was becoming a risk. The second time I noticed that my neckline was slipping--I had begun pedalling home from Point Lookout--the top slopes of my breasts were coming into view. Visions of a drunk kid with a pickup truck or a cop pulling me over flashed through my head.

I fixed my top by pulling down the bottom rear part, which made the neckline become more or less of a neckline again. Now the guys were shouting "nice legs,"as they always seem to do when I'm on a bike. At least that, and exposing one's legs, are not illegal--or, at least, won't get me into as much trouble as exposed breast.

The rest of my ride went blissfully uneventfully, although I felt cold as I rode along the ocean in Nassau County and The Rockaways. The water, as I understand, is still only about 45 or 46 degrees F (7 degrees C), so the breezes from it make those areas fifteen to twenty degrees F cooler than a few miles away from the ocean. I know, I should have brought a jacket or something. But I wasn't thinking about that as I left my place around two in the afternoon, when the temperature was in the 80's F.

Oh well. At least the wind was at my back for the last fifteen miles or so (of a 65 mile ride), as I pedalled north from the Rockaways. And my Mercian was great to pedal, as always.

Did Janet Jackson have the wind at her back?

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