Happy Mother's Day

Here in the US, today is Mother's Day.

A very happy day to all of you who are mothers--whether you have birthed children, raised them or simply cared for anyone who has needed your love and support.

And I want to make a special wish for my own mother.  I am very fortunate that I am as old as I am and she is still in this world.   During my transition, she stood with me as others abandoned me.  

Every trans person should have a mother like mine.  No, forget that.  Everyone should have a mother like mine.

Misgendering, Misogyny And Murder

A week and a half ago, I wrote about the way Cleveland Plain-Dealer reporter John Canigilia maligned murdered transwoman Ci Ci Dove, and how his editors wrote a headline that further trivialized her death.  

As Dana Beyer points out in an excellent Huffington Post article, Caniglia and the Plain-Dealer's errors are not merely breaches of rules laid out in the AP Stylebook or lapses of decency and respect.  As Beyer writes, "Misgendering has implications beyond murder and is often used by religious and feminist fundamentalists to dehumanize trans persons." She correctly identifies it as the root of "the 'bathroom bill' meme", which fosters fear about "men" in women's bathrooms. It's also the basis of the "gay panic" defense men invoke after beating or killing women whom they discover to be trans because, they believe, being attracted to trans women makes them gay. 

At the bottom of such misgendering is (ironically, given its use by feminist fundamentalists) misogyny.  One researcher found, in the words of an interviewee, that "transgender is just a long word for 'gay'."  To people who share such a belief, a cisgender man who makes love to another cisgender man is no different from a post-operative transsexual like yours truly.  Each is seen as a man who behaves in a "feminine" manner, which means that we have violated the code of masculinity.  In such a system of belief, a man who fails to be a man is a failed human being who deserves, at best, contempt or, worse, the kind of brutally violent death that claims too many of us--and struck Ci Ci Dove.

Hijras: From Scorn To Running For Office

The first thing I read--a long time ago--about hijras made it seem as if they were accepted, or at least tolerated, in their native South Asian cultures until said cultures were "corrupted" by Western/Christian influence.

I wish I could find that book just so I could quote it more accurately and learn more about who wrote it.  I think he or she was a cultural anthropologist who somehow was warped by one of those gender theorists who said things like "gender is performative".  Or, perhaps, he or she was one of those gender theorists but was trying to pass him or her self off as a cultural antrhopologist.

Whatever the case, I thought it was suspect then.  Now I realize my instincts were right.  For one thing, Indians and Pakistanis I've met have told me otherwise.  Their stories have been confirmed by other readings I've done on the subject.

"Hijra" has been translated as "transgender."  Until recently, people used "transgender" as a  catch-all term  to include post-operative transsexuals, hermaphrodites, people who were born male but live as female and  cross-dressers.  That is more or less the way "hijra" has been used, which is probably the reason why it was so translated.

In India and Pakistan, they have long faced scorn, ridicule and even violence.  They live apart from the rest of society, as non-citizens, and have traditionally worked as circus performers, sex workers, dancers and beggars.  Sometimes they are paid to perform at wedding ceremonies, bless babies (In India, their prayers were considered especially powerful.) or simply to stay away from "respectable" communities.  But it has been rare to find any employed in the same ways as other members of society.  

Standing for elected office was out of the question--until now.  Last year, the Pakistani Supreme Court ruled that hijras could obtain identity cards that identified them as neither male nor female.  In essence, a "third gender" was created under law, and people could register to vote, work--and run for office--under it.

Now, a handful of hijra candidates are running for local and national offices in elections that will be held tomorrow.  "Before, no one cared about us.  There was no benefit for politicians in paying us any attention," says Naina Lal, one of the candidates.  "But now they are calling me, asking what we want and how they can help."  

It's heartening to see that Lal actually has support in a conservative Muslim country like Pakistan.  It's even more of a sign of change that the Pakistan Muslim League-Nawaz, one of the most conservative elements in Lal's hometown of Lahore, are courting Lal and other hijra candidates.

But somehow it's not surprising.  After all, Lal and other hijras are campaigning on issues like the high rate of HIV infection, skyrocketing food costs and frequent power outages: things about which hijras care just as much as everyone else.

I'm Married To A Woman, But Only One Of Us Is A Lesbian...

Don't worry:  I'm still single.  Jennifer Finney Boylan (who else?) uttered the title of this post.

She did a great job of explaining the difference between gender identity and sexual orientation to Joy Behar.  Boylan told her to imagine she'd just become a man. "Do you want to sleep with women?"  Behar--not surprisingly--said "no."  

"But you're still you."So now you're a gay man!"  I've always enjoyed watching Joy Behar, and figured that she was, if not trans-friendly, at least educable on the subject.  Her interview with Jennifer Boylan confirmed that for me.

The most important thing Boylan said, of course, is that even if you "change" your gender, "you're still you." And, as she pointed out, "gender is  not who you want to go to bed with; it's who you go to bed as."

You can see the interview here:

What If I Were A Black Trans Woman?

I do not believe that I am boasting or exaggerating when I say that I encounter more black men than most white women of my age and level of (formal) education.

Of course, that is largely a consequence of living in a large urban area in the United States and doing the kinds of work I do.  But I can also say, in all honesty, that I try to be an open-minded person who is a good listener.  I guess some of the black men (and women) I meet sense that, which may be a reason why some of them will tell me, a complete stranger, about their experiences and feeling.

I had one such encounter last week.  I'd ridden my bicycle to the Borough of Manhattan Community College.  I was astounded to find an indoor parking facility in Fitterman Hall that rivals the emenities found in many gyms in the surrounding neighborhood, where Robert De Niro and other celebrities live.

As I was locking my bike to the rack, a black man, whom I guessed to be about ten years younger than me, wheeled in his machine.  We exchanged greetings and small talk about the weather, the changes in the neighborhood and other things.  

"Can I ask you something?"

I was wondering whether, at this late date, he'd "read" me or , perhaps, seen me somewhere before.  In spite of my anxiety, I said, "Sure."

"Did the guard ask you for ID?"

"No."

"Well, he stopped me and asked for it.  And I'm a student here--I come here every day."

"Was he a new guard?"

"No, he's seen me before."

"That doesn't sound good."

"Maybe it shouldn't bother me."

"Don't apologize.  If I were in your shoes, I'd probably be upset, too."

"Why do you think he stopped me?"

"And he didn't stop me?  Well, I can think of one thing."

You probably know what that thing is:  He is black and rather young-looking.  On the other hand, I'm a white woman in late middle age.  I told him as much.

"So you feel the same way?," he wondered.

"Listen, I've heard plenty of DWB (Driving While Black) stories.  If even a fraction of them are true, I have reason to be upset, and you have reason to be outraged."

"The worst thing of all," he explained, "is that the guard is black."

"Talk about internalized racism!"

"Yes.  We even get it from our own!"

At that moment, I realized that in some ways I am very fortunate:  I rarely, if ever, am looked at with suspicion.  As I once joked to somebody, "Security people look at me and think, 'Grandma doesn't have a bomb in her bag'."

I didn't mention any of that to the man I encountered in the bike parking room.  He thanked me for listening and "understanding," as he said.  What he probably doesn't know is--as I've mentioned in other posts--some experiences I had during my transition helped me to understand the bigotry and hostility people of color face.

The more likely one is to face prejudice and other forms of hatred, the more likely one is to become a victim of violence or other kinds of crime.  In other posts, I've talked about the dangers trans people face every day:  We are sixteen times as likely as anyone else, and twenty times as likely to experience a violent assault.  We are also far more likely than other people to encounter harassment, and even violence, at the hands of police officers.

So I can only imagine what my life would be like if I were a trans woman of color.  When I think of the times I've been harrassed by police officers--once on the street, the other time in my local precinct station--I imagine how much worse those encounters could have been were I Black, Hispanic or even Asian.

What I didn't tell the black man I met last week at BMCC is that, because I've had the experiences I've described, I was able to give him at least some of the "understanding" for which he thanked me.  I gave him my e-mail address "in case you want to talk," as I told him.  Whether or not I can help him, I can at least sympathize.  I think he knows that, even if he doesn't know why.

Georgina Beyer Gravely Ill

In 1999, Georgina Beyer became the first openly transgender member of any parliament in the world.  She won election in a normally conservative district of Wairapa, in New Zealand, and served until 2007.

She was about to announce her campaign to be elected the mayor of Wellington when she was diagnosed with kidney failure.  If Ms. Beyer, who is 55, doesn't get a kidney transplant, she will need dialysis four times a week for the rest of her life.  She has not confirmed that she will no longer stand, but,she says, "I'm sure as hell not going to sit back and think 'woe is me'."

She had her gender-reassignment surgery in 1984, which definitely makes her a survivor of the Lost Generation of Transgenders.  Before her surgery, she acted on stage, in Australia as well as in New Zealand.  Before her surgery, she was also a radio host and was part of Wellington's gay club scene.  However, she also fell into a line of work that claimed too many members of our Generation:  prostitution.  

However, she was not merely a "first"; she was one of those rare people who has managed to be a sort of visionary as well as a canny, shrewd politician.  As an example, during a 2004 speech at the UniQ: Queer Students Association conference at Waikato University, she warned that gay and lesbian New Zealanders would face a turbulent time, in which rights they gained from the homosexual law reform of 1986 would be questioned and attacked. She also expressed her support for a civil-union bill, since she believed that gay marriage wouldn't become legal in New Zealand "for at least twenty years."  At least that prediction didn't come true:  her country passed same-sex marriage legislation last month.  

I hope that Ms. Beyer gets all of the support and care she needs.  We still need her.

Ladies, It's Your War, Too!

I have said that it takes balls to be a woman.  One of the things I've learned is that as a woman--especially one who lived as a man and boy--I have to fight for some of the things men take for granted.

I've also learned that while we can do the same things men can, we can't (and shouldn't) always do them in the same ways.  And, as more than one woman who has balanced a career and a family has said, "You can have it all; you just can't have it all at the same time."

But I digress.  It may be hard for young people to believe now, but at one time, people (including many women themselves) believed that women had no place-- except to care for the wounded or, perhaps, to cook-- in any military organization.

During World War II, some military commanders--however reluctantly--began to change their thinking.  The need for manpower, I mean personnel, was so great that men could no longer do everything.  And, as at least one commander noted, there are many jobs women can do as well as, or even better than, a man can.

Although Hitler is gone and Europeans enjoy most (some would say more) of the same freedoms our soldiers fought for, there is still a war.  And, yes, ladies, it's your--I mean our--war, even if we aren't wearing those uniforms!

Cherry Blossoms Bloom; I Exhale

Very few things in this world make me as happy as I am when I see cherry blossoms in bloom.

This year, they seem especially full and vibrant.  Perhaps it's because they opened their flowers a bit later than they normally do (or so it seems).  Or, they may seem so bright because Spring came late and the winter, though not exceptionally cold or snowy, seemed interminably gray.

Anyway, I didn't have my regular camera with me when I rode to work today.  So, I used my cell phone to capture the radiance of these cherry blossoms:

Wrapped In Lavender Paper

"He's not our President. He's not a Black President."

So said an African-American student of mine.  He believes that Obama has "sold out" black people on issues like immigration.  Also, he says, the President is "in the pocket" of banks and other financial service companies. "Who has profited more than they at the expense of black people?," my student wonders.

In brief, "it's no longer enough for a candidate simply to be black," he says.  

I'm thinking of my conversation with him after reading an article in this week's Village Voice.  In it, Steve Weinstein points out that not all LGBT people are happy that Christine Quinn will most be elected (in a landslide) the Mayor of New York City later this year.  Part of the reason for this is that many LGBT people will vote for her because she is "one of our own": essentially, the same reason why 95 percent of black voters pulled the lever for Obama in 2008 and last year.

However, as blogger Joe Jervis--a.k.a. JoeMyGod- points out, "In New York City, even Republican candidates are right on about gay issues".  Indeed, one of that party's Mayoral candidates, Joseph Lhota,who previously served as chairman of the Metropolitan Transportation Authority and a Deputy Mayor for Rudolph Giuliani, has publicly supported Federal legalization of same-sex marriage. "The best part of New York City is its diversity," he says. " You gotta celebrate it.  You really do."

Now, of course, there's more to being in favor of LGBT equality than supporting same-sex marriage.  (As I've said in previous posts, I support it only because it's the best solution available under the current system. I really believe that governments should not have any power to define marriage and bestow benefits based upon it.) It also means being on the right side of a number of other issues which aren't specifically labelled as "LGBT issues" but nonetheless affect our lives. And that is where Christine Quinn, during her term as Speaker of the City Council, has failed.

For one thing, just as she and a host of other Council Members--and Mayor Michael Bloomberg--were reaching the end of their term limits.  After that vote, she could no longer even pretend to be "adversarial" toward the Mayor or other city power brokers.  Instead, her pandering to him not only brought him and her a third term in office; it also meant that he would help grease the wheels that could carry her into City Hall.

From then on, she also made, or helped to make, deals with some of the city's realtors and financial services companies that have further accelerated the displacement of poor, elderly and "minority"--including LGBT people.  It led to, among other things, the closing of St. Vincent's hospital, which will be turned into luxury housing. 

And, along the way, she also committed what is, in my book, one of her worst sins:  She supported the NYPD's "stop and frisk" policy. Its critics point out, rightly, that young black and Latino males are disproportionately stopped.  But so have transgender people, especially male-to-female. I have talked to more one MTF who was stopped and harassed early one afternoon as she was waiting for a bus in a Greenwich Village residential area and have heard similar stories from others.  Indeed, one hot day early in my life as Justine,I was stopped as I was riding my bike home from work.

She has also done other things that some could (with justification, I believe) see as "selling out" the LGBT community, especially trans people.  For that reason, they (and I) concur with veteran gay rights activist Bill Dobbs, who calls her "a classic old-style machine politician wrapped in lavender paper".

 

Murder, Then Character Assassination

Have standards at journalism schools declined even more than I'd imagined?

I'm asking that question after seeing the way a major metropolitan newspaper--one that was once one of the most respected in all of journalism--covered the murder of a transgender woman.

For starters, Cleveland Plain-Dealer reporter John Caniglia used male pronouns in referring to Cemia "Ci Ci" Dove.  He also referred to her as "Carl Acoff" in his dispatch on 29 April. The male pronouns have since been removed but, in the story, she is still identified as "Carl Acoff."  Mr. Caniglia very cleverly got around having to use female pronouns by referring to her as a "self-identified transgender woman."

Oh, but it gets better.  This Caniglia person simply had to tell his readers that Ci Ci was dressed in a Betty Boop tank top, three black bras and a light hooded jacket. As if this isn't enough to trivialize her, he also mentions that she was naked from the waist down.  I don't think I have to tell you what sort of picture he and his editors were trying to paint.

Also, he mentions some previous criminal activity.  I neither condone nor excuse such behavior, but trans people--especially the young--are often driven to desperate measures, especially if their families and former friends and acquaintances have disavowed them. I suspect that such was the case for Ms. Dove for, as Caniglia reports, attempts to contact her family were unsuccessful.

After such sensationalism, the fact that she died so brutally and lay at the bottom of a pond for, probably, a month or more, is almost lost by its placement later in the article.  What's really sad is that, as awful as it is to be repeatedly stabbed, tied to a block of concrete and dumped into a freezing pond, it doesn't even come close to being one of the most gruesome attacks ever committed on a trans person.

To add insult to injury, it wasn't bad enough for Caniglia to simply be sensationalistic and to trade in stereotypes.  His editors brought the quality of his story even further down with this headline: "Brutal Slaying Marks Clevelander's Fight for Acceptance."

What the fuck?  The stabbing ended Ci Ci Dove's life, at age twenty.  I mean, if we follow that editor's line of reasoning and have his or her command of the English language, we would say that the assassination of Robert F. Kennedy in 1968 marked the end of his Presidential campaign.

What the hell are they teaching (or not teaching) in J-schools these days?

Same-Sex Marriage And The Lost Generation Of Transgenders

In previous posts, I've said that I am glad that same-sex marriage has been legalized in New York and other states, and hope that it will be recognized by the Federal Government of the US, mainly because it's the best solution we can achieve under the current social and economic system.  

That situation, I believe, has at least a little to do with what I have described as the Lost Generation of Transgenders.  It also has to do with the fact that, early in the modern gay-rights movement (or "gay liberation", as it was called in those days), transgender people were allied with gays and lesbians.  To some degree, trans people chose such an alliance, but the media and the general public (to the extent they were thinking about us) lumped us with gays and lesbians simply because most people, at that time, conflated gender identity with sexuality.

Whether or not Sylvia Rivera actually threw her red stiletto-heeled shoe at police officers who raided the Stonewall Inn on that fateful early summer night in 1969 (I have spoken with people who claim to have been there and insist that it didn't happen), there can be little doubt that transgender people were active in, and integral to, the Gay Rights movement in its early years.  Rivera herself, while participating in various marches and demonstrations for gay equality, drew attention to the plight of trans people.  

However, two things happened to marginalize trans people within the LGBT movement--and to leave us further marginalized than we already were within larger society. The first, as I have mentioned in other posts, was the rise of Second-Wave Feminism, spearheaded by Janice Raymond.  The second was the AIDS epidemic, which led to LGBT movements being dominated (some would say hijacked) by affluent gay white men.

Now, I will not deny the importance of AIDS activism:  After all, sixteen people who were friends or acquaintances of mine have died from illnesses generated by the disease, and every one of their deaths was horrific.  However, once ACT UP and other organizations dedicated to the effects of the epidemic--most of whose victims, at the time, were gay men or intravenous drug users--came to be dominated by affluent gay white men, there would be no turning back.  No other part of the LGBT rainbow can even come close to matching the financial power, not to mention the organizational ability, of the men of Christopher Street or the Castro district.  And trans people were far behind even lesbians of color, as there are fewer of us and, then as now, we are more likely to be unemployed and living in poverty.

The more affluent and integrated people are, the more they are likely to try to use the system, as it's constructed, to further their own interests.   In the case of gay men, the ones who were white and working as in the FIRE industries or as advertising art directors wanted (understandably) to enjoy the same sorts of tax benefits, and to be "respectable" in the same ways, as their heterosexual peers. 

What I've described in the previous paragraph led to a nearly singular drive, among LGBT organizations, for "marriage equality"--at times, nearly to the exclusion of every other issue.  While some trans people want to enter same-sex marriages (or are, in fact, in them), many more are preoccupied with day-to-day survival and the issues that are part of it, e.g., employment, health insurance, homelessness and being victims of violent crime and other forms of discrimination.  

However, discussion of--let alone advocacy for--such issues was largely absent during the days of AIDS activism and the drive for same-sex marriage. In the meantime, those who could gain from marriage "equality" pushed for a parallel system to the one most heterosexual people take for granted, i.e., same-sex marriage that followed the heterosexual (and hetero-normative) model. Rarely, if ever, was any consideration given to the idea of getting the government out of marriage altogether, and of taking away the churches' (and other houses of worship's) power to decide, for the (nominally secular) government, who is and isn't married.  

Instead, organizations like the Human Rights Campaign focused their efforts on allowing gays and lesbians to have the same kinds of marriages as straight people. I can't help but to think that if trans people had been more influential, we would have fought for the the separation of Church and State in matters of matrimony, and to have other kinds of relationships (including ones that don't follow the heteronormative script of marriage).  But that didn't happen, in part, because one of the results of a Lost Generation of Transgenders is that because we are far fewer in number (and, proportionally, far less wealthy) than we might have been otherwise.  So, while we were able to get language protecting us into the New York City Human Rights Law in April of 2002, we were (arguably) further from having similar language included in New York State's or the Federal Government's laws and policies than we were in 1972.

I still hope that we will have fair and equitable policies for trans people everywhere.  Then, perhaps, we will be able to move beyond the effects of losing a generation of our people.

Nos Marriages Sont Legaux. J'espere Qui Nous Rend Egaux!

It seems that attacks against members of any group of people become the most violent, and most virulent, when that group is gaining (however slowly) the same status and rights afforded members of the "majority" culture and race.

That is exactly what happened during the Reconstruction after the Civil War, and during the Civil Rights movement of the late 1950's and 1960's.  The Ku Klux Klan got its start during the Reconstruction and had a major resurgence during the Civil Rights era.  But the KKK was hardly alone in intimidating, harassing and even killing African-Americans who had the audacity to pursue their educations, enter the professions, worship their maker, shop, eat and simply live in the ways and places they saw fit.  And, of course, the KKK would use those same tactics, and legislators would pass laws, to prevent African-Americans from exercising their right to vote and do any number of other things white people took for granted.

So it is, unfortunately, no surprise that there has been a wave of anti-gay protests (in which demonstrators brandished signs with slogans like: 1 Pere + 1 Mere, C'est Hereditaire) and, worse, violence over recent days in France.  The other day, the self-proclaimed Country of Human Rights became the fourteenth country to legalize same-sex marriage.  The first gay matrimonial ceremonies are expected to take place in June and, not surprisingly, some members of la droite and various organizations with "famille" in their name (Does that sound familiar?) are doing what they can to have the law repealed.

(To be fair, French philosophes were probably the first intellectuals in the Western world to declare that human beings have inalienable rights because they are human beings.  The Founding Fathers of the United States took much of their inspiration from Voltaire, Rousseau and other French theorists on human liberty.  And, while French colonial rulers did some terrible things, France has probably taken in more political refugees than any country except the US.)

Of course, the fact that such violent homophobic attacks as the one Wilfrid de Bruijn and his partner suffered are taking place means that an inevitable part of human history is moving forward.  As with the lynchings during Reconstruction and the Civil Rights era, hateful reactionaries fight hardest when their cause has just been lost.  Although the vast majority of French are Catholic (at least nominally) and there is a large Muslim population (as well as the fourth-largest Jewish population in the world), France is,  in many respects, more secular than the US and countries like Spain that have legalized same-sex unions.  Having lived in France and known a number of French people, I think they have an easier time of separating religion from government and may be more ready to embrace the concept of marriage that is not defined by religious institutions.  I have said that the only way we will have true marriage equality is when religious institutions no longer have the power to join people in unions that are recognized as marriages (or even partnerships) by secular governments.  France may be more able and willing than the US to do this.

On the other hand, I also know from experience that while French people more readily acknowledge that certain fashion designers and other celebrities are gay, the subject of homosexuality (let alone transgenderism) is not nearly as openly discussed as it is in America.  So, while French officials may be better able to make same-sex marriages more routine (or, at least, seem more routine) than they are in the States, I have to wonder whether same-sex unions will have the same level of respect that they do in some parts of the US, or in some European countries like the Netherlands.

One reason, I believe, that legalizing same-sex marriage may not have the same social impact in France as it's had in those US states that have it is, ironically, that marriage is (arguably) not as important to the French as it is to Americans.  An even higher percentage of French than American couples are cohabitants, and in France, as in most Western European countries, a higher percentage of first children are born to unmarried women.  

One similarity between the French tax system and its American counterpart is that it provides strong incentives for a "traditional" family in which the father works and the mother stays home to look after kids.  However, the French system seems to be much kinder than its American counterpart to cohabitees.  One result is that cohabiting couples stay together longer in France than they do in the US or the UK.

Also, even though France has allowed civil unions since 1998, people living under those pacts are not allowed to adopt children.  And, although support for same-sex marriage has grown significantly in France, public support for allowing same-sex couples to adopt has not grown with it. Now, I'm not saying that the purpose of marriage is rearing children, but I have to wonder whether some couples would feel less incentive to get married if they couldn't adopt children.

Given what I've just described, I have to wonder whether France's new law--laudable as it is, given its circumstances--will actually result in a wave of same-sex marriages as has happened in the American states that have allowed them.  After all, Spain--whose tax policies regarding marriage bear some similarity to those in France--has not had nearly as many same-sex weddings as some people anticipated.   Now, one could argue that Spain is a more conservatively Catholic country than its neighbor on the other side of the Pyrenees.  However, there, as in other countries, there is a vast difference in attitudes between younger and older people regarding homosexuality and related issues.  So, while younger Spaniards accept gays and marriages between them nearly as much as their peers in Europe and some parts of the US, it still doesn't--and may not, for the foreseeable future--translate into more same-sex marriages.

Still, I want to offer words of congratulations to the government of Francois Hollande for supporting the law, and words of support to gay French people who are bearing the backlash of change.

Curled Up With Candice

While being somewhat incapacitated by a relapse of a respiratory infection I had during the winter, I looked through some discs.  In one of them, I found this photo:

A few posts ago, I mentioned Candice, who died two and a half months before I adopted Max.  I don't recall exactly when I took the photo, but I think it was some time in the middle of her life, when I was living with Tammy.  I say that because she's curled on a futon we had.

That pose was so typical of her:  Curled atop the softest and highest available object.  It's more or less how I spent--or wanted to spend--my time during the last couple of days!

No Irish Transgenders Need Apply--In Ireland

I'm going to tell you one of my dim, dark secrets, in case I haven't revealed it elsewhere on this blog:  I was born in Georgia. 

How that happened is a long story.  I lived in Georgia only for the first few months of my life.  I have no dislike of the state and have met some perfectly lovely people who hail from there.  However, I've spent so little time there since those early days of my life that I really can't have a positive, negative or even neutral feeling about it.  I simply can't think of myself as a Georgian, and probably have no right to do so.

Actually, I can't speak too badly of the Peachtree State.  (I mean, how can you hate a place with a name like that?)  After all, they did something a few other states still don't do.  After I had my surgery, they issued me a brand-new birth certificate with my new name and my female gender.  As I understand, some states issue amended birth certificates in which the original name and gender are crossed out.  

Some would argue that post-operative trans people should get amended birth certificates, or shouldn't be able to change it at all.  After all, they say, it's a historical document that records a fact.  

That is true, up to a point.  A person's gender is recorded according to the best judgment of the doctor who delivered him or her.  A few babies' sexes are difficult to determine even for the most experienced obstetricians; however, there are more--including yours truly--whose brains weren't constructed in accordance with their sexual organs.  Of course, the doctor--and, for that matter, just about anybody else--has no way of knowing that.  So, it could be said that the doctor, however unintentionally, made a mistake in determining the baby's gender.  

Perhaps not all mistakes are worth correcting.  However, the gender recorded on your birth certificate determines all kinds of things, from what you're named to (in most places) whom you're allowed to marry. 

So this business of birth certificates is very important.  The State of Georgia, not known for its progressiveness (Is that a word?) is still miles ahead of other places in that regard.  One of those places is Ireland.

Now, you might think that's not so unusual, given Ireland's longstanding reputation as a conservative Catholic country.  But the Emerald Isle's refusal to recognize a gender "change" means that, in essence, it's all but impossible for an Irish trangender person to get married.  A male-to-female is still seen as male; therefore, she cannot marry a man.  And it would probably be all but impossible for her to marry a woman, as nearly all Irish marriages are performed by Catholic priests, most of whom won't marry a transgender person who lives in his or her true gender.

What's really strange about all of this, though, is that Ireland is willing to recognize the status of transgender people born outside of Ireland.  An amended birth certificate from a state that recognizes sex "changes" will allow a person to enter into a marriage or civil union in Ireland, but those born in Ireland can't obtain such a documents.

So, let's see...In Ireland, I have more rights than an Irish transgender person--even one, like Lydia Foy, who had gender-reassignment surgery in England. You can drink a lot of Irish whiskey and not see anything stranger than that!

I mean, it's as if the Irish government were saying "No Irish Need Apply."  Or did Mahmoud "There Are No Homosexuals In Iran" Ahmadinejad move to Ireland and make transgenders the new target of his bigotry?

Batgirl's Transgender Roommate

I am old enough to remember when, for the first time (at least here in the US), a television drama featured a black actor in a lead role.

That show was I Spy.  Bill Cosby was the actor in question.  The year was 1965--when the Watts area of Los Angeles exploded into what was then one of the most destructive urban riots in American history.  I Spy was banned in some parts of the South.

I've told this story in a couple of my classes. It leaves the students incredulous--after all, they have grown up accustomed to seeing people who look more or less like them on TV, in movies and videos and on the covers of major magazines and newspapers--not to mention on websites and Youtube.

After hearing about I Spy, they're not surprised to learn that none of the shows or movies I watched in my childhood or adolescence featured Asians, Latinos, Native Americans or even Italians as anything more than stereotypes.    But I don't think I will ever be able to convey to them what it's like to grow up without, not only people who look like you, but also people who feel the way you do--or, more to the point, whose brains are constructed like yours--in the images you see every day.

The first time I recall seeing a gay character in a television show was in an episode of All In The Family, in which a friend of lead character Archie Bunker "comes out."  In that same episode, another man who is sensitive and not interested in sports or anything militaristic is revealed as straight.  That was certainly an advance, but it would be another two decades before any show featured a gay or lesbian--let alone transgender--character.

I occasionally looked at comic books, but I wasn't obsessed with them.  That said, I don't recall seeing an LGBT character in any of them.

Well, now it looks like the world of cartooning is changing.  Some characters, like Batwoman, Northstar and Green Lantern (Alan Scott) are openly gay or lesbian.  Now, in the latest issue of Batgirl, Alysia Yeoh--the roommate of Batgirl/Barbara Gordon--reveals herself to be a transwoman.

It gets better:  Batgirl writer Gail Simone has taken care not to conflate Alysia's gender identity with her sexuality.  So, Ms. Yeoh is also bisexual.

What's next?  Will we find out that she's not sharing only the rent and utility bills with Batgirl?  Now that would be a lot of fun!

This Letter Will Save Lives

If you were to ask most people to name a state that has progressive policies when it comes to transgender health care, many would mention California.  After all, San Francisco was one of the first cities to include gender identity and expression in its anti-discrimination laws.  It was also the first American city to offer to pay for gender-reassignment surgery, hormones and other necessary treatments for trans people who are City or County employees.

Now the California Department of Managed Health Care (CDMHC) has ordered all of the state's health plans to remove gender identity or expression as a basis for excluding or refusing coverage.

Why does that matter?  Well, I can offer one example from firsthand experience:  After I started taking hormones for two years, my doctor recommended that I get a mammogram.  My breasts had grown somewhat, but more important, the fact that I was taking estrogen put me at somewhat greater risk of breast cancer.  At the time, of course, I hadn't undergone gender reassignment surgery so, according to many insurers (though, thankfully, not the one I had) would have considered me a male.  And, as others in my situation discovered, other insurers would not pay for a "man's" mammogram--or, worse, would accuse any transwoman or her doctor of fraud for claiming the procedure.

Or, let's say some insurer considered me female and I had a medical problem that was testicular in origin, or that had to do with my prostate.  That insurer would have rejected a claim for any treatment involving those issues.

Then there are trans men who have been taking testosterone and who, perhaps, have had "top" surgery, but not bottom surgery.  He might then need, say, a pap smear--which an insurer could deny if he is classified as male.  On the other hand, if he is still classified as female, he might be denied treatment for high cholesterol or other conditions for which he is at greater risk as a result of taking testosterone.

What insurers may not realize is how risky it can be to deny treatments to people who are transitioning.  As Masen Davis, the Executive Director of the Transgender Law Center said, "This one letter will save lives."

Petitioning Smith College To End Anti-Transgender Discrimination

A few posts ago, I talked about the plight of Calliope Wong. She is a high-school senior who has been living as female for two years and has identified as one for as long as she can remember.  Her application to Smith College was rejected because her documentation--including her Social Security records, birth certificate and the financial aid form her parents had to submit--still indicate that she is male.

I, for one, found it very curious that Smith should have rejected her--or, more precisely, returned her applications materials--because Smith allows students to transition into maleness while they are enrolled in the college, and because the school has a longer history than most of supporting lesbian students.

Well, GLAAD has announced that it has joined 3000 other signatories on a petition to end the college's discriminatory policies.  If you are interested in signing the petition, you can find it here.

Six Years With Max

Six years ago today, I took Max into my home.

A few months earlier, my friend Millie rescued him from a street that divides a shop in which metal is cut, bent and welded from another in which auto bodies are painted, sometimes in bizarre schemes.  Just down the block from it is a commercial bakery that supplies restaurants in Manhattan as well as in Queens:  the place from which Marley was rescued.

Millie kept Max in her house for a time.  But she already had other cats, and a guy who briefly moved into the neighborhood took him in.  He disappeared, as he was wont to do, for two weeks.  A neighbor heard Max’s cries.  Fortunately, the guy returned a day later, and Millie took Max from him.

I offered to take Max home—when I was ready.  You see, during that time, Candice, who had been in my life for twelve years, died.

I jokingly referred to her as my “ballerina”:  She was pretty and thin even though I fed her what I fed Charlie.  And she always seemed to be walking en pointe.

In some ways, Marley reminds me of her. She liked to jump into my lap, cuddle and curl, as he does.  Also,  she was a bit skittish, though very gentle, as Marley is. While Max always seems ready to greet anyone I bring into my apartment, Marley is more cautious:  It takes him some time to work up the nerve (or whatever cats have) to meet my guests.  However, once he “comes out”, he rubs himself against my guest and licks his or her hand.  Candice was like that, too.

She died  a little more than a year after my first Charlie.  They were about the same age (15 years), though Candice spent a little less time in my life because I adopted her when she was three years old, while Charlie came home with me only a few weeks after he was born.   But both he and Candice shared some important times in my life, including the early and middle parts of my transition.  And I owned about a dozen bikes (though not all at the same time) and rode about a dozen more during that time!

Then Max came along.  I’ve gone through some more changes (and bikes) and he has just loved, and loved some more.  He doesn’t have to do anything else.

The End Of A Day At The Beginning Of A Season

During my ride home, I stopped at the Long Island City piers just in time for this:

And, in one sign that Spring is finally springing on us, I saw a willow just beginning to open itself to the sun that's finally warming it:

A Double Bind For "The Pregnant Man."

What if Franz Kafka wrote about transgender people and same-sex marriage?

One possible answer to that question is not a work of fiction.  It's a current news story unfolding in the State of Arizona.

There, Thomas Beatie--who made headlines a few years ago as the "pregnant man", lived with Nancy, the woman he married in Hawaii in 2003. Now he is trying to dissolve that union because, he says, she is violent and has even punched him in the crotch in front of their children.  He is willing to pay child support to keep his children in his life.

Now, even in most states that don't allow same-sex unions, a person who legally "changes" his or her sex can marry someone of the opposite sex. The problem is that states do not all define gender in the same way.  For example, in New York, I was considered female as soon as I had letters from my doctor and therapist saying that I was taking hormones and living as a woman in anticipation of gender-reassignment surgery.  However, at the time (2003-2004), most states and the Federal government required the surgery as a condition of recognizing a person's gender change.  That meant my New York State ID had an "F" in the "Gender" box, but my passport bore the "M" and Social Security still identified me as male.  

(Actually, I was able to get a one-year passport in the female gender when I first transitioned, and I was able to renew it twice before more restrictive policies were enacted. So I was able to take a trip to France and another to Turkey before I had to get the male passport I had until my surgery.)

Apparently, Hawaii's policies were more like New York's when Mr. Beatie got married.  Apparently, Arizona is more restrictive in the way it defines gender.  Or, at least, that's how Judge Douglas Gerlach interprets the law, or what he believes it to be.

He refused to grant a divorce because, he said, the Beaties weren't married in the first place: The Copper State doesn't allow or recognize same-sex marriage.  According to the judge, there isn't "sufficient evidence" to show that Thomas Beatie was indeed a man when he got married.  The esteemed jurist cited the interruption in Beatie's hormone treatments and said that the couple hadn't provided records to fully explain what Thomas had and hadn't done to become a man by the time he and Nancy wed in Honolulu.

Now, I'm not any sort of legal scholar, but if there is indeed a "lack of evidence," I can understand how Judge Gerlach would rule that, under Arizona law, would rule that the Beaties were never married.  After all, as judge, it is his job to adjudicate according to the laws of his state.  On the other hand, his ruling begs the question of what, exactly, constitutes a legal change in gender identity in Arizona, and why it or any other state would not recognize a marriage that was perfectly legal in another.

So now Thomas Beatie is in a double bind:  Because a judge in Arizona doesn't recognize his marriage, he can't get a divorce.  That means he can't leave his wife without, in essence, deserting her and their children.  Of course, his willingness to pay child support shows he doesn't want to do that. And, on top of everything, he can't marry his new girlfriend in either Arizona or Hawaii--or, for that matter, in any other state that recognizes his marriage.  While Arizona (and, probably, many other states) wouldn't allow or recognize such a union, in Hawaii he would be guilty of bigamy.  And he'd still wouldn't have custody of his kids.