A Lifespan Of 30 To 32 Years, And A Lost Generation

Two decades ago, a widely-circulated report caused a lot of shock and disbelief.

Among its findings was this:  Black males aged 15 to 29 had a higher rate of mortality than anyone except people over 85.

But what caused perhaps the most consternation was the fact that black men in Harlem had a shorter life expectancy (51)  than men in Bangladesh (55).  At that time, as now, the average life expectancy for males in the US was 73 years.

(Aside:  At the time of the report, Bangladesh differed from any Western country in that males had a longer life expectancy--by one year--than women.)

I was in graduate school at the time the report came out.  Fellow students and faculty members talked about it for weeks afterward.  More than a few faculty members, I'm sure, were stunned to realize that they were near, or had exceeded, the numbers for men in Harlem and Bangladesh. And those--including my fellow students--who hadn't reached that age bracket knew that, barring some unforeseen tragedy, they were likely to live well beyond 51 or 55.

As terrible as those findings were ( I concur with those who said a "genocide" of black youth was, and is, taking place.), they paint a positively rosy picture compared to something I stumbled over a couple of days ago.

According to Argentinian psychologist Graciela Balestra, "Transgender people have an average life expectancy of 30 to 32 years."

That is less than the average life expectancy during the time of Christ, and about how long people could expect to live during the Dark Ages.  Even during the time of the Black Death, a person--assuming, of course, that he or she wasn't among the one in three who succumbed to the epidemic--could expect to live a couple of years longer than that.

And Dr. Balestra works closely with the transgender community in a country where, arguably, trans people have more rights and protections than in any other in the world!

When I think about it, I have difficulty rebutting her claim.  I know, personally, about two dozen people on the transgender spectrum, and have probably talked with about two hundred others, perhaps more.    Of the transgender people I know personally, about four or five are 30 or younger; the rest are 40 or older.  Of course, that last fact may simply be a result of being over 40 myself!  However, I can't help but to realize that all of the 30-or-older trans people I know--and, most likely, most of the ones I've met--began their transitions after that age.  In my experience, it's really unusual to meet a trans person around my age who started his or her transition thirty or even twenty years ago.  We are, as I said in yesterday's post, survivors of the Lost Generation of transgender people.  

So, while I know that today we have a more hospitable (though far from entirely hospitable) environment, I still worry sometimes about those young people who are making their transitions, and even having surgery, before their mid-20's.  While I am happy that they will be able to enjoy a youth in their true gender--an option too many friends and acquaintances, as well as I, didn't have--I still have to wonder just how long they'll live, and what their quality of life will be like. 

For all of the advances that have been made--at least in some parts of the US--to protect our rights and safety, a transgender person is still 16 times as likely as anyone else to be murdered.  One of us is also 20 times as likely to be assaulted.  Moreover, we have unemployment and poverty rates that are multiples of the ones suffered by any other group of people.  Even if you talk about the real, as opposed to the official, unemployment rates, we are three to four times as likely not to have paid work.  

And those of us who have employment, health insurance and safe housing are likely to have garnered those things before our transitions.  

Perhaps the clearest sign of progress we might see will be when we see gainfully employed, insured and well-housed trans people in their 30's and 40's who have attained those hallmarks of a stable life after, or not long before, beginning their transitions in their early-to-mid 20's, or even earlier. Until then, we will have a gap created by a lost generation of trans people. Having such a gap has devastated the African-American community for a long time, and could do something similar, if it hasn't already, to the trans community.

National Coming Out Day

Today is the 25th National Coming Out Day.

When the first such day was held, "coming out", even for white lesbians and gay men and lesbians who were secure in their jobs and lives, was a risky proposition.  The so-called "Gay Liberation" of the 1970's boomeranged into a conservative backlash during the 1980s.  (I apologize for the mixed metaphors.)  

One reason was the election of Ronald Reagan in 1980.  Of course, the election didn't happen in a vacuum:  There was a counter-revolution to the Gay Rights movement, just as there was for the Women's and Civil Rights movements.  That counter-revolution was not always visible or audible:  Most of the time, it was more like a series of tremors that one only felt when one happened to be in its path.  Those tremors culminated in the earthquake of Reagan's election.

Perhaps even more important, though, was the outbreak of HIV/AIDs.  In the early years of the epidemic, all of its known (or, at any rate, recorded) victims were believed to be gay men, intravenous drug users, Haitians or West Africans.  The last three groups I've mentioned were near the bottom of the American socio-economic ladder; the early path of the epidemic caused many Americans to lump gay men with them.  Naturally, that only helped to inflame existing prejudices against gay men.

Another reason, I believe, why "coming out" was difficult during the 1980's was that many people associated lesbians with the most shrill and hateful kinds of feminists (or pseudo-scholars who called themselves feminists, anyway).  The conservatives and religious hatemongers who were spouting anti-gay rhetoric tended to look none too kindly on feminists anyway; the association those conservatives made between feminists and lesbians surely made things worse for both.

If it was difficult for gays and lesbians to come out in 1988, you can only imagine how much worse things were for trans people.  Of the trans people I've met (which include everything from those who haven't yet begun-- or who have chosen not to-- to transition, to post-ops), it seems that there are, chronologically, two groups: the ones who transitioned during or before the early 1980's, and the ones who transitioned during or after the early 1990's.  

If my observations in any way reflect what has happened throughout the trans community, there is a "lost generation" of trans people--the ones who didn't transition during the decade or so between the two groups I've mentioned.  That period almost perfectly coincides with the conservative backlash I've mentioned against gays and lesbians, and that "lost generation" includes many who took their own lives or who died slower deaths from drug and alcohol abuse, as well as those who simply didn't transition and those--including yours truly--who transitioned later in their lives than they might have otherwise.

So, even though we have a long way to go, things are certainly better for us, in many ways, than they were in 1988.  National Coming Out Day is one reason for that.

Turned Away By An LGBT Organization

Every time I think the world has become  a more hospitable, or at least a  less hostile, place for trans people, something happens to shake my faith.   

It's bad enough when hateful, ignorant or simply rude words or treatment comes from the sorts of people from whom we expect it.  At least then we can see it coming.  However, it's more distrubing, and more distressing, when we are treated badly by those whom we thought to be allies--or at least who previously seemed to be working on our behalf.

A friend of mine is having such an experience.  She went to an organization that is ostensibly dedicated to helping transgender people with various legal issues, including civil rights violations and access to health care.  In fact, that organization's founder litigated a case in which I had been involved, and was settled when the judge ordered the defendant to make contributions to LGBT organizations on behalf of me and the other plaintiffs in the lawsuit.  After that, I would volunteer for that organization, join their board of directors and write a guidebook, which they distributed in print and online, to help transgenders gain access to the health care we need.

That organization--the Transgender Legal Defense and Education Fund--took over Lambda Legal's name-change project.  I used its free services and, even as a complete novice to the court system, I had no difficulty.  When TLDEF took it over, I thought it might be a good thing, as TLDEF is (or, at any rate, was) an organization centered on transgendered.  Plus, TLDEF's director, Michael Silverman is a first-rate lawyer. No less than the lawyers who opposed him, and a prosecutor, said as much.

In any event, my friend went to a TLDEF name-change clinic and was treated rudely, and with hostility.  Then the person who was supposed to help my friend instead invented a reason, called it TLDEF policy, and used it to keep my friend from using their services.

My friend, at least, is canny and persistent, although obviously upset with the treatment she received.  Now that this friend has found out that the rule that would have disqualfied her, had it existed, she is all the more upset, though still fighting.

Post #1000. Thanks For Reading

Four years and three months, almost to the day, after my first post on this blog, here we are, at post #1000.

The day I started this blog, I had absolutely no idea of how long it would last, or how many posts I would write on it.  I started one year before the scheduled date for my surgery and had planned to record whatever came along during those twelve months.  I didn't know whether I would continue or, in fact, whether I would want to.

But I learned a few things during that year, and more since.  I also had a motive for continuing this blog that some may find self-indulgent or narcissistic:  FOr the most part, what I wrote in this blog during the months after my surgery were the first I wrote in my new life.  

Also, I found myself thinking, if not differently, then in different directions.  In my transition, I experienced sexism, transphobia and other kinds of bigotry in more immediate and intimate ways than I ever did as a male who, as far as most people could tell, was straight, or at least bi-leaning-to-hetero-sexual.  And who is white.  One interesting facet of my experiences is that I also learned how my race matters and that, for whatever prejudice I was experiencing, there were other kinds of ignorance and hate to which I wasn't subject and, I hope, never will be.

Anyway...I want to thank all of you who have been reading, whether regularly or episodically.  And I want to thank my mother, father and other people--including my friend Millie and Bruce  (I don't know that better friends exist!)--who've been with me on this journey.  And my new friends, too:  you know who you are!


I may write Post #1001 tomorrow.  Or next week.  And how much time will pass between Post #1001 and 1002, I don't know.  But, for now, this blog will continue.  And, I suspect, it will go on as long as I learn anything new or interesting, or am shocked by something, related not only to my own life as a woman, but to issues related to gender and sexuality.  A friend has suggested I start a political blog.  I may do that.  If I do, i will almost certainly take time and energy from this, so my posts will become less frequent.  (Unless, of course, I no longer have to work for a living!)  But, for now, and for the foreseeable future, I'll be here.  And here I am.

Trans People Of Color: An Endangered Species?

The other day I commemorated the tenth anniversary of Gwen Araujo's brutal murder.

During the four years I've kept this blog, I've also written about the murders of Amanda Gonzalez-Andujar, Rita Hester, Coko Williams and Thapelo Makutle.

Apart from the fact that they were transgender women and the sheer brutality of their killings, what else did they have in common?

You might have guessed:  They are all women of color, nonwhite, or whichever term you want to use.

Reports from Interpol and other investigative agencies show that no one runs a higher risk of being a homicide victim than a transgender person.  And, in the United States at any rate, people account for a disproportionate number of the corpses in the county morgue.

I was reminded of these facts by an excellent article someone passed on to me.  In it, Kimberly McLeod reports that, according to the National Coalition of Anti-Violence programs, violence against LGBT people rose 23 percent from 2009 to 2010, with people of color and transgender women being the most common victims.  Of the LGBT people who were murdered in 2010, 70 percent were people of color and 44 percent were transgender women.

As it happens, the murders of people of color and transgenders are also the least likely to culminate with the arrest and conviction of the person(s) responsible.  In many instances, no more than a perfunctory investigation is done, if any is done at all.

What further exacerbates the dangers and inequities faced by trans people of color is that many trans people are, essentially, alone in this world:  Their friends, families, communities and employers have cut ties with them, or they had to leave those people and places to escape harassment and in the hope of escaping violence.  And, of course, killings of people of color are simply not a high priority in many police forces and communities.

Potty Mouth In Calgary

It's always about the bathrooms.

At least, it is whenever someone wants to oppose equal rights for transgender people.

That's exactly what's happening now in Canada, the country that beat its southern neighbor in legalizing same-sex marriage.

MP (Member of Parliament) Rob Anders of Calgary is calling on his fellow Canadiens and Canadiennes to oppose Bill C-279, which would recognize gender identity and expression in the hate crimes section of Canada's Criminal Code. It also would offer protection to gender-variant individuals protection under the Canada Human Rights Act.

Anders and other opponents of C-279 have dubbed it the "Bathroom Bill."  (Original, isn't he?)  In a petition on his website, Anders claims that the bill's aim "is to give transgendered men access to women's public washroom facilities."

Anders' colleague in the Canadian Parliament, Randall Garrison, said that Anders' petition shows a basic misunderstanding of the bill's concepts.  "He obviously missed the fact that similar provisions have been adopted in [the Northwest Territories], Manitoba and Ontario, with none of the absurd consequences he fears," Garrison wrote in a statement.  "At best, Mr. Anders failed to do his homework."

Let's hope that Anders is merely a poor researcher or simply read the bill in a rush.  Otherwise, he is, as Garrison says, "deliberately promoting prejudice against transsexual and transgender Canadians by equating them with sex offenders and paedophiles."

Given Anders' history, he may well be exploiting stereotypes.  Or, he may simply be a "shoot from the lip" type of person.  Recently, he claimed that current New Democratic Party leader Thomas Mulcair deliberately hastened the death of his predecessor, Jack Layton. 

Perhaps he's so obseesed with what happens (or, more precisely, doesn't happen) in bathrooms because he spends so much time in them. What comes out of his mouth may be evidence of that.

A Sad Anniversary: My Grandmother and Gwen Araujo

This date, 3 October, has been a sad one for many years, at least for me.

On this date in 1981, my maternal grandmother died.  As weakened as she was from her illnesses, she fought death until the end.  With her dying breaths, she called out the name of my grandfather, who predeceased her by fifteen years.

I was twenty-three at the time she died.  She was my last living grandparent. But that is not the only reason why her death affected me as much as it did. Probably the only person in this world who knew me better was, and is, my mother.  She died at a time in my life when I was angry, confused and scared.  I simply felt that I could not bear the prospect of any life that seemed available to me at the time:  I didn't want the careers, family structures or lifestyles that, it seemed, other people wanted me to want.  That strained some of the relationships in my life, including those with some of my relations.

My grandmother offered me a lot of emotional support, and sometimes advice.  The latter, I didn't follow most of the time, mainly because I almost never followed anybody's advice. (Some might say I'm still guilty of that.)  But she did listen, and sometimes helped me to see situations with my family and other people that, really, I otherwise couldn't at that time in my life.

Twenty-one years later, on this date, there was a death that has affected me ever since.  It was very different from my grandmother's, which came in a hospital room with my mother and other family members around her.  This other death was brutal, violent and spurred by anger and hate.  

Yes, it was the murder of a transgender girl:  Gwen Araujo.  Ten years have passed since she was beaten and strangled at a party in the working-class San Francisco Bay-area community of Newark.  Her killers then dumped her body in a shallow grave about three hours' drive away, in the Sierras.

While not as widely publicized as the killings of Matthew Shepard and Brandon Teena, it did start some discussion of the frequency and intensity of assaults on, and killings of, trans people.  Now it's fairly common knowledge that such crimes against trans people tend to be particularly brutal and even grisly:  Those who investigate them say as much.  Also, you could see the "learning curve" about transgender people reflected in media coverage. Most initial reports identified her as a boy who liked to wear girl's clothes; as more became known about her, some changed their portrayals of her.  (What that meant, of course, is that many of those reporters, editors and commentators were starting to learn that transgenders and cross-dressers are not necessarily the same people.)  

But one reason why her death affected me is that it came just when I was about to embark on my transition.  Tammy and I had split up, and I moved to a neighborhood where I knew no-one, only a few weeks earlier.  I was attending support groups as well as going for therapy sessions and medical evaluations.  On Christmas Eve of that year, I would begin taking hormones.

What happened to Gwen Araujo did scare me, at least somewhat.  I was going to work as Nick, and the friends and acquaintances I knew from my previous life still knew me as him. I was not "out" to any of my family. But I was going to various events, and roaming about during some of the free time I had, "as" Justine.  Sometimes I worried about people who knew me as Justine finding out about Nick, and vice-versa.  And, truthfully, I wasn't yet sure--even a little--about how anyone would react.

But I knew I had to do what I was doing.  Gwen knew she had to live as the girl she really was, or not at all.  Knowing about her life and death thus gave me a kind of hope, or at least the knowledge that I couldn't be anybody but who I am, and do anything but what I needed to do.  


My grandmother told me something like that.  I never discussed my gender identity issues with her. (Then again, I hadn't discussed them with anyone else.)   But the encouragement she gave me about other things, and her advice that, in essence, bad situations don't have to last but good people can, and do, has been about as good a legacy as anyone could have left for me.

Rape Victim Charged With Indecency

What do you do if you are assaulted and your attacker files charges against you?

Apparently, that is just what happened to a woman in Tunisia.  According to reports, three police officers approached her and her fiance when they were in their car in Tunis, the capital city.

Two of the officers raped her in the car.  The third took her fiance to a nearby ATM to extort money from him.

The woman filed a complaint against the officers.  After they were charged with rape and extortion, they claimed they found her and her beau in an "immoral position" in the car.  Neither the police nor any other authority would say what was meant by "immoral position."  However, the country's interior ministry repeated the claim, according to Amnesty International.

As a result, the couple was charged with "intentional indecent behavior," which could land them in prison for up to six years. 

Some might say, "Well, that's the Middle East."  What they don't realize is that women--and, especially transgender women--sometimes meet with harassment and worse from law enforcement officers and other authorities. Now, because the US is a secular country, its representatives of power can't invoke Sharia or Mosaic or any other kind of religious law against us. On the other hand, they can--and, in some cases, do-- claim that we somehow provoked their behavior.   Or they claim that we pose some sort of danger we couldn't pose even if we'd wanted to.

Or they simply dismiss us or find other ways of discouraging or intimidating
 us from speaking up about inappropriate behavior.  (Think of implicit and explicit threats of losing one's job.) 

After all, who is a better target for violence, and a better object of the abuse of power, than someone who is frightened and silenced?

 

Fundraising Party For Trans-Inclusive Women's Cycling Group

If you're here in New York next Wednesday, you'll want to trek over to The Grand Victory in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.

There, at 7:00 pm on the 10th of October, the doors will open on WE Bike's end-of-season party.

Don't worry:  I won't do karaoke.  And I definitely won't take off my WE Bike T-shirt!

But I do promise a good time.  There will be live music, bike videos and hourly raffles, among other things.

And you'll get to meet all of the interesting women who are WE Bike.  

I've mentioned WE Bike in a previous post on my other blog.  Briefly, it's a New York City-based bicycle group open to all women and transgender people who enjoy biking, or believe they might.   WE Bike seeks to break down barriers by offering social and training rides, and mechanics' workshops.  It also plans to offer scholarships.

You can learn more about it at     www.facebook.com/WEBikeNYC.

Oh, and by the way, the cover charge is $8.00.  Not bad for a night out in Williamsburg, eh?

A "Fraudulent" Request

According to Bill Graves, I made a fraudulent request on 18 June 2003.  

Thankfully (for me, anyway), he is a District Judge in Oklahoma. I filed my request in the Civil Court in Manhattan.

But the fact that Judge Graves presides over the court in Oklahoma County is not so felicitious for James Dean Ingram.  My petition for my name change was granted within a month.  A couple of weeks later, as per the law, I'd published it in the Legal Notices section of the Village Voice (the newspaper chosen by the judge), had the change notarized, and I have been Justine ever since.

On the other hand, Ingram, who has been living as a woman, was not allowed to change "James Dean" to "Angela Renee."  The esteemed judge's decision was based on his extensive research:  "If you're born male, you stay male, according to the study I've done on  DNA.  If you're born female, you stay female."  

However, the honorable jurist revealed another motive for his denial of Ingram's petition:  "You'll give me publicity I don't want."

And I thought the standards for scholarship in gender studies were low!  According to Judge Graves, one can reach valid scientific conclusions based upon one's desire, or lack thereof, for attention.

I suppose Ms. Ingram is not aware of that.  Had she known, perhaps she wouldn't have been so crushed that she "just wanted to die."  

Last year, in a similar case, Graves cited the Bible and "expert testimony" in concluding that "the DNA code shows that God meant for them to stay male and female."

So let's see...His credentials in jurisprudence qualify him as an expert on the Bible and genetics. Hmm...Maybe I should have gone to law school. But, if I had, I somehow think I might have ruled differently.  After all, two erudite and reasonable people can come to different conclusions on the same subject, right?

By any chance is this Graves fellow related to someone named Lysenko?  Or Shockley?

Homophobia, "If It Really Existed"

I guess I shouldn't be surprised that Conservapedia exists.  After all, there are people who will accuse you of being brainwashed by the "liberal" media if you merely contradict their claim that Obama is a Muslim.  And, believe it or not, there are others who cite Wikipedia's policy of allowing British spellings as evidence of its anti-American bias.

So, I suppose it should cause me no consternation to learn that there is a Conservapedia "article" that denies the existence of homophobia. "Homophobia would be an irrational fear or hatred of homosexuals, if it really existed."  So reads the very first sentence of that entry.

If it really existed:  Try telling that to Matthew Shepard. Or Rebecca Wight.  Or Julio Rivera.  Or Gwen Araujo.  Or John Lauber.  Or...

Tracking Homophobia On Twitter

In July, the Institute for Sexual Minority Studies and Services (iSMSS) at the University of Alberta launched www.nohomophobes.com to track the use of anti-gay language on Twitter.

Since then, it has detected over 2.5 million uses of the word "faggot."  That translates to about 10 million times a year, or over 800,000 times a month.  The site also tracks the use of such terms as "dyke", "so gay" and "no homo". I didn't see any tallies for "tranny" or any other terms that could be slurs against gender-variant people.  Perhaps they'll get around to including them.

Still, I am glad this service exists.  If nothing else, it shows the degree to which casual homophobia still exists and, in the words of iSMSS director Dr. Kristopher Wells, "remains one of the few socially acceptable forms of discrimination".  As Dr. Wells says, it "leads to isolation, bullying, beatings and, tragically, youth suicide."

In spite of the one criticism I've made, I applaud Dr. Wells and iSMSS for launching this service.  The "casual homophobia" to which he refers is pernicious enough.  But what's even worse, now, is the degree to which it can be spread through social media. People who use such terms, as often as not, don't think of themselves as homophobes, and perhaps they're not.  But they--especially the young--are, in using such language, helping to perpetrate hatred that imperils the health, safety and lives of their siblings and other family members, friends and classmates.  

Proof That We're Not Just XX Or XY?

I'll admit:  It's been a long time since I've studied biology.  So, my knowledge is probably rusty, to put it mildly.

So I wouldn't be surprised if something I learned as one of the most basic tenets of genetics has been overturned.  Said notion is that males and females are determined and identified at the chromosomal level, and that there is "male" and "female" DNA.  The former has, of course, XY chromosomes and the latter, XX.

Well, like many ideas based on binaries, it seems as though that one might be overturned, or at least may need to be modified.  At least, that's what new research seems to indicate.

According to the study's lead author, Dr. J. Lee Nelson of the University of Alberta, the findings "point to the need for a new paradigm of what the self is, biologically".  

What is causing Dr. Nelson to make such an earth-shattering statement?  His team has found male DNA inside female brains.

The study found male michocherism--"the 'intermingling' of small numbers of cells or portions of DNA in a person from a genetically different individual"--in 63 percent of the brains tested.  

These findings are significant for a number of reasons.  For one, the researchers found that female Alzheimer's patients have lower concentrations of "male" DNA in the portions of the brain most affected by the disease.  This, of course, could have significant implications for those researching Alzheimers, and possibly other conditions.


Also, if a person can have "immigrant" DNA intermingled in his or her cells, the notion that DNA can uniquely identify an individual human being is challenged, to say the least.  That undermines one of the most basic notions of genetic science, not to mention the notion that gender is identifiable and definable by DNA structure.  Some might argue that such a notion might have gone by the wayside in any event, as DNA structure often has very little to do with the way terms such as "male" or "female" actually function in the world, let alone with how people actually live as men, women, boys, girls or in other gender identities.

Perhaps Dr. Nelson summed up the implications of his findings best when he said, "I think we're better off defining it [the biological self] as an ecosystem, rather than as a singular genetic template, with more genetic and cellular diversity than we previously thought."

Could this spell the end of the gender binary after all?

From Angel To Working Girl

Even if you're not my age, you've heard the song at least 500 times on the radio.  You might have even heard it that many times if you don't listen to the radio anymore.  So, you might be sick of it.  I'm not:  I guess if I'm not by now, I never will be.

I'm talking about Angel of the Morning, a megahit (and just about the only hit) for Merrillee Rush and The Turnabouts.  I've always liked her voice, which was classically trained, and the classical instrumentation.  If Sheryl Crow had been born about fifteen years earlier than she was, she might have been Merrilee, though I'm glad things didn't turn out that way!

You've also probably heard (or read) that some people regard Angel a kind of proto-feminist anthem.  It certainly is a song about a woman who can stand on her own two feet. ("I won't beg you to stay," she says to the guy with whom she has an apparent one-nighter.)  In that sense, it was certainly different from just about any other pop song of that time, and arguably more enlightened than much of what is being sung today.

I'm mentioning all of this because, for the first time in a long time, I listened to the eponymous album on which the song is found.  Some of the other songs are forgettable pop "filler", no better or worse than other things you've heard from that time.  But a couple of other songs are good, or at least interesting.

One of them is called Working Girl.  If you listen to it, remember that the album was released in 1968.  To my knowledge, nobody was using the term "sexual harassment."  But that's exactly what the song's lyrics describe.  ("Mr. Jones--is that a ring on your hand?  A new job?  No, I like it here.  Yes, I read your intentions clear.")  As with Angel, there is nothing else like it from that time, and hardly anything like it since.  

From what I've mentioned so far, it probably isn't surprising that Merrilee would have recorded such a song.  But, the song actually turns into the polar opposite of Angel.  The protagonist of the song doesn't stand up for herself (Then again, how could she have done so in 1968?); instead she wishes that some man would "find this working girl, and give her heart a home".  

What makes those lines all the more jarring is that on the album, only one other track separates Angel of the Morning from Working Girl.  The song in between, That Kind of Woman, is about a woman in an affair with a married man.  It's not bad, but it isn't as beautiful as Angel or as tense and lugubrious as Working.

After Angel, Merrilee Rush and the Turnabouts released, if I'm not mistaken, two more albums, neither of which had the impact of Angel. (How could they, really?)  Now she and her husband, singer/songwriter Billy Mac, live in a farmhouse her grandfather built in the countryside near Seattle, her birthplace.  There, they do a thriving business in raising English sheepdogs.

Arrest In Slashing At McDonald's

Yesterday, 44-year-old Keith Patron was arrested for the slashing of a gay man who defended his transgendered girlfriend at a McDonald's restaurant in Greenwich Village.

Patron allegedly made anti-gay remarks to the couple, not realizing that one was in fact a transgender.  They left the restaurant, but Patron followed them onto the sidewalk outside. 

As I mentioned in my post the other day, that particular McDonald's restaurant has been the scene of a few violent incidents in recent months, and the nearby streets and subway stations harbor hooligans who, frequently in alcohol-soaked and drug-fueled rages, seek out potential victims who are, or seem to be, LGBT.  If future incidents are to be prevented, people who venture into that part of town, as well as the NYPD, need to be more cognizant of those realities.  

PFLAG On LGBT Students

In the month of September, we hear and read much about education and young people.

Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG)-New York City has published some remarkable data on both.  In particular, I was struck by the following:  

• "LGBT students are twice as likely to say that they were not planning on completing high school or going to college."
• "Gay teens are 8.4 times more likely to report having attempted suicide and 5.9 times more likely to report high levels of depression compared with peers from families that reported no or low levels of family rejection."
• "Nearly a fifth of students are physically assaulted because of their sexual orientation and a tenth because of their gender identity."
• "About two thirds of LGBT students report having ever been sexually harassed (e.g., sexual remarks made, being touched inappropriately) in school in the past year."

It's hard not to see that the last two items are causes of the first two.  Why would someone willingly go to a school, or other any place, where he or she has been beaten up or sexually harassed, or faces the prospect of experiencing one or both?

I myself finished high school only because my parents wouldn't allow me not to.  That was one of the rules they had for me and my brothers:  We had to finish high school.  I graduated with a pretty high class ranking, but I can't help but to think about how much better I might have done had I felt safer, and therefore more motivated, in school.  

Now, I didn't announce my gender identity or sexuality in school, mainly because I didn't have the language for either--and, truthfully, almost nobody in that place and time had it, either.  Still, most of the boys in my school knew that somehow I wasn't quite one of them.  They projected their lurid fantasies (which, of course, were not in any way informed by reality) about what it meant to be gay or a "boy/girl" onto me. 

I did the best I could at "laying low" and got through most days without incident.  Even so, I could always feel the hormonal hostility in the air of the school hallways and the field where we had gym classes and soccer practice.  And, of course, the locker room was pure terror and torture.  I don't think I was ever again as afraid--or disgusted--as I was there.

Somehow I graduated.  Then I went onto college.  Living on campus wasn't any better, really.  There was just as much hormone-fueled bullying there.  The difference was that those conflagrations had another, equally potent fuel:  alcohol.   I very nearly flunked out after my freshman year.   

Back in those days, though, most of us didn't talk about such things, except with each other.  That is, if we decided to out ourselves.  More of us just "soldiered onward" or dropped out, saying that the schools we attended "weren't quite right" for us.

And I know of some who committed suicide, whether in the ways we normally think of, or in slow-motion (e.g., with drugs and alcohol).  

Today, there are organizations like PFLAG and people with whom LGBT students can talk.  And more of them talk openly to each other.  However, they still face the same threats we faced in my youth.  I hope that, one day, such will no longer be the case.

Hate Served Up In Village McDonalds

In my youth, I spent a pretty fair amount of time in and around Washington Square Park and West Fourth Street in Greenwich Village.

Given that, for a brief time, I lived in the East Village, and for long periods before and after that, in New York City and its environs, that shouldn't surprise anyone.  There was--and to some degree, still is--a laissez-faire attitude toward just about everything.  Many of us went there to do or consume things we couldn't in our neighborhoods or workplaces.

What that meant, of course, is that you also had a decent chance of having your pocket picked or purse snatched, or of getting into an altercation, sometimes for no apparent reason.  Unfortunately, I suppose that was inevitable, as the very same atmosphere that attracted people who wanted the freedom to be themselves, even if only for a day or night, also attracted the people who exploited, or simply, hated them.

If you want any evidence of what I mean, just go to the West Fourth Street subway station, which is perennially one of the most crime-ridden in the city's transit system.  The fact that it is a big station that serves as a transfer point between several lines, and has multiple levels and remote areas, makes it an easy place for thugs to lurk, hide or get away.

Just outside the northeasternmost entrance to the station, on West Third Street, is the most squalid and crime-ridden McDonald's restaurant in New York City.  There have been several violent incidents there over the past year.  

The most recent incident took place Wednesday night and involved a 350-pound male being (I refuse to call him a man.) who yelled anti-gay slurs at two transgender women who used the women's room in the restaurant.  He threatened to "fuck" them "up". They left the restaurant, but he followed and tried to take a swing at one of the women.  

One of them returned the punch and kneed him in the groin. He tumbled to the ground. But then he pulled out a razor and slashed her in the elbow, face and neck.


These days, I rarely go to that part of town, in part because I no longer have friends living in the area and most of the places where I used to go to hear music, read or hear poetry or shop are gone now, or have become unrecognizable.  But I also lost much of my attraction to the area in the days before I started my transition, when I was actively "cross-dressing."  I soon realized that the haters went to that part of town simply because they could easily find the people they hated.  And, the fact that public consumption and intoxication were almost de riguer in those environs--cops looked the other way--made it all the more likely that some hater with chemically-lowered inhibitions would take out his hormonal rage on the objects of his hate.  

Although I haven't had any harrowing experiences in a long time (knock wood!), I suppose the memory still lingers.  Plus, I don't go anyplace to "be myself" anymore; I simply live my life as the person I am.  I suppose I am lucky to have come to a point in my life where I can do that.  For others--including many young trans people--there are the risks of having to share their spaces with the haters.  

"The Matrix" Director Comes Out

Is 2012 the "coming-out" year for transgender celebrities?

First we had Chaz (ne Chastity) Bono, the child of Sonny and Cher.  A few months later, Against Me! lead singer Tom Gabel became Laura Jane Grace.  In the meantime, Warren Beatty and Annette Benning's eldest child Kathleen came to be known as Steven Ira.

Now Larry Wachowski--the Director of The Matrix--now goes by the name Lana.  She came out in a promotional video, in which she appears with Tom Hanks, for Cloud Atlas, her next film.

Michelle Kosilek: A Dilemma Of The Eighth Amendment

On one hand, we have the Eighth Amendment of the United States Constitution, which forbids "cruel and unusual punishment."  This is interpreted to mean, among other things, that prisoners cannot be denied necessary medical care.

On the other hand, we have someone who brutally murdered a spouse nearly two decades ago.  This person has a condition that was not diagnosed until after the murder conviction, and is listed as a psychiatric disorder in DSM-V.

It just happens that treatment for this person's condition is very expensive.  Only two insurance plans in the United States cover the cost of it.  It's one of the reasons why the vast majority of people with the condition don't get, or get very minimal, treatment.

Since you're reading this blog, you've probably guessed where this is going:  What if the prisoner is transgendered, and the condition was diagnosed after the murder?  

The prisoner in question is Michelle (nee Robert) Kosilek.  As a Boston Phoenix editorial points out, she's "an unsympathetic poster child for prisoner or transgender rights.   And those two issues are central to this case."

Kosilek has been receiving hormone treatments since she was diagnosed nine years ago.  Recently, Chief US District Court Judge Mark Wolf ruled that the State of Massachusetts has to provide Kosilek with gender-reassignment surgery.  Wolf, who has the reputation of being a tough "law and order" judge, recognizes that GRS isn't cosmetic surgery and that under the law, he really couldn't make any other ruling.  Still, he noted--perhaps with irony or sarcasm--that, "It may seem strange that in the United States, citizens do not have a constitutional right to adequate medical care, but the Eighth Amendment promises prisoners such care."  

On one hand, I can see how some people would think it unfair that Kosilek is getting a surgery most people can't afford and almost no insurance plan covers.  The ire of some such people is no doubt fueled by their misconceptions or hatred of trans people.  Others may simply object to so much money being spent on someone who committed a brutal murder. On the other hand, I understand that Judge Wolf--who, I suspect, has a pretty high level of integrity--knew that he was bound by the Constitution of this country.  He would have made the same ruling if Kosilek were still living as Robert and, instead of gender dysphoria, he was suffering from some form of cancer or some rare disease.  Yes, it's unfair that many people die because they can't afford, or their insurance doesn't cover, the treatments.  However, denying care to someone else for whom it is available doesn't right the situation of someone who does not have access to the necessary care.  


Judge Wolf made, I think, the correct decision, given the circumstances.  Now, if we really think it's unfair that prisoners have access to medical care that perhaps one out of every four Americans don't (and most prisoners wouldn't, were they not in prison), we have to figure out a way to make access to health care more equitable.  Denying care to someone, or some group of people, is not the way to do it.

Video Night

Thank you, Eva-Genevieve!, for linking How To Make Love To A Trans Person on your site:





I would love to have been there to see Gabe Moses performing.  Watching the video, I laughed and cried--and felt so much more.  

It's heartening to see there were no "dislikes" on the page.

On the other hand, 3274 viewers disliked this old homosexual warning video:



I can actually remember being similarly warned about gay men--by people who, like most others, conflated gay men with pedophiles.  (I was indeed victimized by the latter in my childhood.)

Watching that video made me think, in a way, of Reefer Madness.  It's as uninformed and, therefore, deals in stereotypes in much the same way as the "public service announcement" about homosexuals.

Leave it to the Brits to see the humor (or bathos) of such things: