LGBT Scholarships

Today one of my students asked about scholarships that might be available to her.  Now, I don't know about very many of them off the top of my head, but I know that there are scholarships available for members of her race, and for people who have lived through some of the circumstances that have formed her life.

"What about a scholarship for gay and lesbian students?"

She had, in one of her writing assignments, revealed her orientation to me.  So the question was a surprise to me only because no one else had asked it, and I'd never thought about it.

Turns out, there are such scholarships available. The Human Rights Campaign (HRC) maintains one of the most extensive lists of them.  Many of the awards are intended for LGBT students who want to pursue studies in a particular area, such as law or public policy, or who have shown a commitment to activism and other areas deemed vital to the LGBT community.

While the number of LGBT scholarships is nowhere near as great as it is for scholarships targeted to other groups of people, it is still greater than what was available when I was an undergraduate.  As far as I know, none were available then.  I'm not even sure any were available when I was in graduate school.  Then again, I was so deeply in the closet that I would not have applied.  In fact, I didn't know any self-identified trans people all through school.  

So, while the availability of such scholarships is a positive sign, I have to wonder how many students who might qualify for them won't apply because it would mean "outing" themselves.  I guess, as the activists say, the work of change is never done.
 

No "Outing" Today

Today I rode my bike to work. On the way, I stopped at a diner to use the bathroom. (I shouldn't have had that second cup of tea before I left my apartment!)  Anyway, on my way out, I heard a snippet of conversation between two seemingly-heterosexual young men.

Anyway, it seems that they saw the panel discussion I mentioned the other day.  One of them found it "interesting" and "educational" and said that cis people (He didn't use the term, but he was referring to them.) "really need to understand more about [transgender people]."  His friend, on the other hand, still seems ill-at-ease with the whole idea.  I wasn't upset with him:  After all, being "in the closet," as I was for most of my life, is an expression of such unease.  And, in spite of the rejections I've faced and ignorance I've encountered, I still hold out hope for young men like him.

But I found myself in a dilemma:  Do I "jump into" their conversation and try to shed a bit more light on the topic? Even if that act didn't by itself arouse his or other people's suspicions, I probably would have outed myself for no other reason than I probably would have found it impossible to argue with someone like him without mentioning my own experiences.

Although I would like for people to understand why we make the sorts of choices we make, I also would like to live in peace (as much as that's possible in this world) as a woman.  I can't even remember the last time a stranger gave me a suspicious glance or addressed me as anything but "Ma'am" or "Miss."  And, yes, that is what I have always wanted. 

I didn't get involved in the conversation of those young men.  I rationalized it with the fact that I was on my way to work.  Time wasn't an issue:  I was actually running a bit early.  I simply didn't want to "out" myself, even though I didn't sense that doing so to those young men would have been dangerous.

And, the one who was expressing his unease may have been on his way to greater understanding. Or so I hope.

Fake Butts And Real Troubles

Last week, when I was in Florida, the "Fake Butt Doctor" was in the news.

Oneal Ron Morris was accused of injecting patients' backsides with a mixture of cement, mineral oil, Fix-a-Flat tire sealant and Super Glue.  I don't think I have to say that the mixture is toxic; even if it weren't, I don't see how any but the most desperate of people would ever let themselves be injected with such a mix.

I was struck by two things about this story.  One, which the media played up, is the fact that Morris is a transgender woman.  One one hand, I was appalled at the news reporters for mentioning it.  After all, if she were a cis woman or man, no one would have mentioned it.  Also, if she'd been a gay man, lesbian or bisexual, I doubt that any reporter, at this late date, would have mentioned it.  On the other hand, I felt even more upset at Morris herself.  As a transsexual woman myself, I could only ask myself how she, who surely felt as desperate as her victims, could have so exploited them.  Given that some trans people who feel they have no other recourse will submit themselves to the risks of "doctors" like Morris, I couldn't help but to wonder whether some of her patients were trans women.

The other thing her exploitation of those people highlighted, at least for me, is the very desperation I've just mentioned.  I can't give you exact numbers, but I know that there are probably thousands, if not more, trans people who, for various reasons, cannot get cosmetic surgeries, let alone GRS/SRS.  Some will do just about anything to get those procedures:   That is one reason why many trans people, particularly the young, turn to sex work.  

However, even if they had access to the money they'd need for the surgeries, they would have to go through a lengthy and expensive screening process.  Many would be rejected for hormone treatment and surgery. Some should be.  But there are many others who have such adversarial relationships with physical and mental health care providers that they simply can't bear the thought of going through the screenings.  Also, some--again, the young in particular--see having surgeries as a "cure" for the emotional (and sometimes physical) scarring they've incurred as a result of repressing themselves, bullying or even banishment from their families and communities.  

Now, I don't know exactly who Morris' patients/victims were, so I do not know which ones might have fit the profiles I've sketched.  Still, I believe that no matter how scarred she might be from her own experiences, she should have been able to understand how desperate some of her patients/victims were.  To exploit that, as she did, is unconscionable.

The worst thing about this story, though, is that she's far from the only "doctor" to so take advantage of such people.  She is merely one of the latest, and her identity as a trans woman makes her a more sensational story than the others. 

A Cis Ally And A Trans Panel On MSNBC

Yesterday, Melissa Harris-Perry presented a panel on MSNBC to discuss transgender issues. 

She was motivated to do this--and, in her words, to become "a better cis ally for the work of trans communities"--after seeing a video of the now-infamous beating of a trans woman in a suburban Baltimore fast-food restaurant. 

The fact that Ms. Harris-Perry is using her position to make herself such a visible ally is most welcome.  So is her presentation of the panel.  Part of me says that they tried to cover too many topics in the time they had.  However, one thing I have learned is that, even at this late date, I or any other trans person might be the "first impression" many people have of us.  And any time any of us talks about issues related to our identities and lives, there is a good chance that we will end up giving whoever is listening to, or reading, us a "primer" on what it means to be transgendered.

That is exactly what the panelists, who included Kate Bornstein, from whom I got some of my early education and encouragement.  I met her, albeit briefly, just as I was starting my life as Justine.  If she doesn't inspire you to live as your true self--whatever that means for you--there aren't very many other people who can. 

I am glad that MSNBC, which has such a large and wide audience, aired the panel--and that we're getting allies like Melissa Harris Perry as well as cis people who aren't nearly as well-known.

A Simple Life?

Normally, I'm happy to get home from a trip to Florida.  These days, I'm happy to see my parents, in part because I don't know how many more years they'll be in this world.  But, apart from them and some lovely bike-rides (The good and bad news is that they're all flat!), I have almost no motivation to go to Florida.


Since I got back last night, though, I'm feeling a little wistful. I think the feeling started on Monday, when I rode down A1A through Painters Hill and Flagler Beach.  Along the way, I stopped, for no particular reason, in one of those stores that sells things made out of seashells.


The proprietress was one of those friendly, helpful and sun-bleached people you meet by the sea, though not necessarily by the trendy beaches.  "Anything I can help you with, let me know," she intoned in a voice of sunshine and sea salt.  She wasn't one of those surly, hipper-than-thou storeclerks you see working in trust-fund enclaves.  She probably wasn't making a lot of money, but she also, most likely, didn't need to. 


I imagined myself in her place, but with my cats and bikes.  I imagined myself closing the store and riding Tosca up and down A-1A or along any number of other roads.  It used to amaze me there weren't more fixed-gear bikes in Florida; this time, I saw a pretty fair number in and around St. Augustine.  Of course, their riders were young, or seemed to be:  I don't expect a senior citizen who hasn't been on a bike since he or she was a teenager to hop on a track bike.


Anyway, I'll be back to my normal rides, work and such soon enough.  One day, if I can afford it and don't have to worry about property values, I might have a house that looks like this (ha, ha):

When I Wasn't Thinking About What Could've Been

Yesterday it was lunch with Mom and her friend. Tonight, after I took a bike ride, it was out to dinner with Mom and Dad.  We went to what is easily my favorite place to eat in the town in which they live:  Mezza Luna. 

The place is closed on Mondays.  The other day was Easter, and this week is Spring Break in much of the country.  So, the restaurant was full when we got there: We had to wait about fifteen minutes for a table.  In the meantime, Mike, the owner, offered everyone who waited free slices of pizza. And, the waiters and waitresses, who apologized for "backlogs" in the kitchen, brought pieces of dough for kids to play with.

Situations like the one I've described are interesting becuase I don't spend a lot of time around kids or, for that matter, families other than my own.  Sometimes it's hard for me to look at kids, even if they're friendly to me, because I find myself thinking about how I might be different if I had lived as a girl.  But today, I didn't find myself thinking about that.  I also didn't think about what my life might have been like if I'd had kids or if I had the same spouse or partner for most or all of my adult life.

For that matter, I wasn't even thinking about what my relationship with my parents might have been like had I grown up as a girl, or even started my transition at a younger age.  Instead, I enjoyed dinner on a warm, pleasant evening with Mom and Dad.  Perhaps this was one of the reasons to have taken the path I have followed.

Why I Enjoy Lunch With Them

Today I went to lunch with Mom and a friend of hers.  The town in which they live is a bit different from my neighborhood, where I have two Chinese restaurants (one Halal) as well as Mexican, Italian, Greek and Japanese/sushi establishments--not to mention a nice little bakery/cafe that isn't Starbuck's.


Most of the restaurants here are franchises of chains.  We went to one of them: Ruby Tuesday's.  I didn't mind:  The food is better than what's served in most other chains, in my opinion, and the service is professional and friendly.


Probably the only people in Florida who are happier than she is to see me are my mother and father.  And I really enjoy her company.  Today, I understood why:  I don't feel like I'm explaining myself or rationalizing (or, worse, defending) things I've done.  I simply feel like I'm having a conversation with another woman who happens to be sympathetic and empathetic.  And, knowing her as a friend of my mother's makes me feel closer to my mother, which is something I appreciate. 


In some ways she is like my mother:  She doesn't have a lot of formal education, but she is very intelligent and wise.  Her religious faith is also important to her, as it is for my mother.  Both are what people would call "practicing Catholics":  They go to church, observe all of the religious holidays and pray.  Plus, they are what some people would say are the "true" adherents:  They defer judgment to the God they believe in, and try to be loving and helpful to people.


As it happens, I have another friend like them:  Millie, who  rescued Max.  With her, with my mother, with my mother's friend, it's not a matter of being "accepted as" a trans person or a woman.  I simply feel like a whole, integrated person around others to whom I can relate, and who understand me.  I'm not a case study or a subject for experimentation--or, worse, someone who fits, or doesn't fit, into what they saw in some textbook in a gender studies course or manual from a workshop. 


That said, I do have friends who are educated in the sense that most people mean.  And they have accepted me on my own terms.  But I don't think their friendship has much to do with their schooling.  By the same token, I don't think whether I can become or remain friends with someone has much to do with that person's religious beliefs, or whether or not she or he has them. I take that back:  I've actually encountered love, acceptance and pure-and-simple helpfulness from people who were motivated, at least in part, by such beliefs. 


Back to my mother and her friend:  The time I get to spend with them will make me at least a little sad, for a little while to go home.  At least I know I can have similar experiences there--whether by having lunch, going for a bike ride or just talking with someone to whom I don't have to defend anything I've done.

A Judge Had To Make UPS Deliver

In most states--New York included--if you undergo hormone therapy and gender-reassignment surgery, you can remain married to the person to who whom you were married.  In most states--not including New York--if you and your spouse should split up after your changes, you can only marry someone of the gender "opposite" the one in which you are living.

So, if you are a MTF who married a woman while you lived as a man, you can remain married to her.  However, if you and her should divorce after your legal status is changed to that of a woman, you have to marry a man if you ever want to get married again.

However, the way corporations treat transgender unions is another story. Specifically, a MTF married a man after her changes, but was denied her husband's UPS medical benefits for other, non-transgender-related, procedures. A federal judge in Minneapolis ruled that she can be so denied.  UPS, for its part said that the denial was due to a "clerical error."


Perhaps it wasn't a deliberate omission on UPS's part. But I can't help but to think of how many other organizations are denying benefits to the transgender partners of their workers, not to mention transgenders themselves. 

My Thing Is Bigger Than....Well, Never Mind!

I'm going to break a promise to myself.  I didn't make the promise to anyone else, so I guess it's okay to break.  Kinda sorta maybe?


Anyway...The soap opera about Miss Universe continues.  First Donald Trump, who owns the pageant, said he's all right with Janna Talackova competing as long as she meets the requirements.  But the Miss Universe organization tried to bar her, claiming that she would violate the rule that all contestants must be "natural born" females.  


So Talackova hired Gloria Allred, the famed civil rights attorney.  Allred said Talackova "did not ask Mr. Trump to prove that he is a naturally-born man, or to see the photos of his birth, to view his anatomy, to see that he was male.  It made no difference to her.  Why should it make any difference to him."


I always knew Trump was a boor.  But he went beyond that:  He turned into a cross between Howard Stern and Rush Limbaugh.  "I think Gloria would be very, very impressed with my anatomy," he said.

The only thing worse than a guy who has to prove to all of the other guys that his thing is bigger than theirs is a guy who has to prove his thing is bigger when there aren't any other guys in the room.  Was Donald Trump born that way, or did somebody or something make him so?

Coko Williams, Murdered In Detroit

"Her throat was slashed and she was shot."

A friend of mine read that sentence to me during our phone conversation.  "If that sentence had appeared all by itself," this friend said, "I would have guessed that a transgender woman had been murdered."

This time it was in Detroit.  Coko Williams' body was found during the early hours of Tuesday morning, in an area of the city known for sex traffic.  However, authorities say they're not certain as to whether Ms. Williams was involved in any sex work.  According to those who knew her, she was never involved in prostitution or any other kind of work that would have sexually exploited her.

From what I've been hearing and reading, there's been an epidemic of violence against LGBT people--the T's in particular--in the Motor City.  If that's true, then it's evidence that something I've feared, even before I undertook my transition, may be coming to pass.  

Detroit is a desperate city.  Many people have already left--It now has fewer people than it had in 1900--and many of those who have remained are unemployed and will never again have jobs, or have never had jobs in the first place.  The anger and frustration of such people is reason enough to fear:  While most won't turn it outward and against other people, some will.  And the ones who get the brunt of their anger are almost invariably those who have even less power than they have.  

The situation there makes people in nearby areas fearful.  They are afraid that the violence and other problems--of which they have little to no understanding--will spill over into their communities if it isn't checked.  Right-wing politicians knead and stretch this fear, and stir some brand or another of religious fundamentalism into the fold, making for a volatile mix.  


Ronald Reagan based his political career on doing exactly what I've described.  His "moment of opportunity" came with the riots in the 1965 Watts riots in Los Angeles.  The following year, he was elected Governor of California.  In the ensuing years, violence against blacks and Chicanos increased.


Now we have politicians like Rick Santorum, and their followers, who are convinced that marginalized people are nothing but sponges for their tax dollars, and that any violence against, or disease contracted by, LGBT people is "God's retribution" or some such thing.   People who are afraid of losing their communities and countries to "others" are receptive to the messages of folks like Santorum, who may actually beat Mitt Romey--whose father was a Governor of Michigan--in the State's Republican Presidential primary.

Such an atmosphere cannot make things safer for any member of a "minority" group, especially trans people.  The irony is that the people who are convinced, or can convince others, that we are some Levitical "abomination" that will destroy the fabric of this society also see us as expendable and will attack us rather than others who are more numerous and have more resources.  


I really hope that neither Detroit nor any other city will experience another murder so brutal and senseless as that of Coko Williams.  Hey, I hope not to be the next Coko Williams!  And I hope the authorities in Detroit take the investigation of her murder more seriously than their counterparts in other places have taken the brutal, grisly killings of too many of our sisters.

Zeke Swim Teaches His Doctors

I have to say that I've been rather fortunate in my experiences with health-care providers.  I have a doctor and gynecologist treat other transgender patients in addition to me, and other providers I see regularly, such as my opthamologist and dentist, are well aware of my history and have treated me well.  Also, my recent work with a physical therapist was a positive experience.

In addition to all of that, my surgery was done by the surgeon I believe to have been the best available, both in terms of her surgical skills and the ways she could understand how I felt.

Not all trans people are so fortunate.  For one thing, not all trans people who want the surgery can get it, mainly because of the cost and, for some, medical issues.  What is probably even worse, though, is that some trans people can't find doctors or other providers who are even familiar with the sorts of needs they have, let alone able to put themselves in the shoes of their transgender patients.  In fact, some even face open hostility and ridicule from providers, as I did from two nurses at the New York Eye and Ear Infirmary during the early days of my life as Justine.

As difficult as it has been for many male-to-female transsexuals to find competent and respectful care, I think the situation may be worse for females-to-males.  I was reminded of this sad reality when I read this account of University of Iowa student Zeke Swim's experiences, and his reflections on it.

Although some would argue that the transition is easier (though still not easy) for FTMs, I think that getting the proper medical care is more difficult because even fewer providers have knowledge about, and experience with, them than they do about and with MTFs.  Plus, the technological state of surgeries and other procedures is not nearly as advanced for FTMs as it is for MTFs.  

I am glad that Swim is advocating for better care.  It seems that he is experiencing what I've experienced:  Most providers actually want to help.  I am fortunate in that I found professionals who had experience with transgender issues, or were at least willing to learn about them--whether from me or their own research.  

What I really like about Swim's approach is that he is more interested in seeing individual doctors do what they can to make a transgender patient more comfortable than in talking about sweeping changes in the policies of hospitals or other health-related institutions.  I have always believed that change starts with individuals; from there, changes can be made to institutions or, if necessary, new institutions can be created.

What I hope is that Swim--who's less than half my age--will live in a time when a transgender patient doesn't have to be lucky or unusually diligent or wealthy to get the care he or she needs.  I know that in many ways, my transition was easier (though not easy) than it was for most who did it before me; it's certainly easier than it would have been if I'd done it when I was Swim's age.  I believe that Swim and others (myself included) are working to see an age where he doesn't have to explain his condition to doctors and nurses.  As the saying goes, may he live in interesting times.  Interesting and good.

It's Against The Rules--Whatever They Are

"It's against the rules."

"Which rules?"

"You know, the rules."

"Which ones?"

"I dunno.  But I know it's against the rules."

"Where can I find them?"

"Get outta here!"

Somehow I can imagine Jenna Tackalova having such an exchange with Donald Trump or one of the executives of the Miss Universe contest.  At first, contest organizers told her she couldn't participate.  Then, in an official statement, they told her she can compete, provided she meets "the legal gender recognition requirements of Canada, and the standards established by other international competitions." 

Talk about a weasely, waffling, wishy-washy answer! Worse, the statement did not elaborate on what the standards are.  Trump, who owns the Miss Universe competitions, at least said she could enter Miss Universe-Canada because under the laws of that country, Tackalova, a Vancouver native, is a woman.  However, Trump also said that each country has its own rules for the competition and that under the rules for the Miss Universe competition, contestants must be "naturally born-females."


Those rules are not posted anywhere on the Miss Universe website. Furthermore, no one seems able to find a copy of them.  Now Gloria Allred is calling on Trump to give "a clear answer--not a wimpy or wishy-washy type of answer."  She wonders whether he "will eliminate this abhorrent rule"--which no one can seem to find in print or online.  


Jenna Tackalova still is left to wonder whether or not she can compete in the Miss Universe-Canada contest, and what rules might be preventing her from doing so.

The Dumbest Things Ever Said About Us

Gay marriage is like 9/11.


Gay sex causes men to need diapers.


Adolf Hitler was an active homosexual.


"Glee" is part of a plot to undermine America.


I wish all of those statements were April Fool's jokes.  However, they were uttered, in all earnestness and seriousness, by public figures, including one who is running for President.


You can read more of "The Dumbest Things Ever Said About Gay People" here.


Hmm...I wonder what dumb things they've said about trans people.  What are the dumbest things you've heard?  I'll tell you one I've heard:  that terrorists could undergo a "sex change operation" to slip "under the radar" and wreak havoc.  I actually heard that from a government employee when, before I had my surgery, I tried to get a new passport.

For Alexis Rivera

Just before I started my transition, I attended the wake and funeral of Sylvia Rivera.  (I can't believe a decade has passed since then!) She died at the same age at which I had my gender-reassignment surgery.  At the time, I remember thinking that she had died (relatively) young but had accomplished--and lived through--so much.


That seems to be the story for so many trans people who manage to find the strength of their voices.  I am going to talk about one such person in a moment. However, there are far too many others who, for various reasons, simply die young--like the person I'm going to mention.


Alexis Rivera (no relation to Sylvia, to my knowledge) was only 34 years old when she died on Wednesday, 28 March.  She'd become a grandmother only a month before her death.  In California, she  was one of the leaders of the transgender community, fighting for our equality.  She also worked on issues relating to AIDS.  According to reports, complications from that disease resulted in her death.


Now, I have had people in my life die that way.  Even though treatments have improved, and the length and quality of the lives of those affected have improved, it's still a terrible way to die.  On the other hand, the fact that people do live longer (I remember when people lived no more than a year after being diagnosed.) and can spend at least some of that time in much the same ways as people who aren't infected has much to do with the work of Ms. Rivera, not to mention any number of dedicated scientists and medical professionals.


Still, I couldn't help but to think about things that I didn't understand when Sylvia Rivera died.  For one thing, the fact that both she and Alexis died relatively young had, ironically and sadly, much to do with the fact that they  "came out" and transitionsed (at least in Alexis' case) at a young age.  Sylvia, from what I know about her, seemed not to have a choice; somehow I think the same was true of Alexis.  What that meant for Sylvia--and I susupect, for Alexis--is that they didn't have access to some of the care and support we can find (even if we are of modest means) when we're in our 40's and 50's.  Plus, more people are more aware of what it means to be trans now than when we were young.   


Also, I suspect that being leaders of the activist movements for transgenders and people afflicted with HIV/AIDS made it more difficult for Sylvia and Alexis to care, or get care, for themselves.  People like them feel--rightly, I believe--the need to be strong and to seem brave for us, and to the rest of the world.  Part of that has to do with not wanting others to see chinks in the armor.  People like the Riveras--especially Alexis--do not want our detractors to see their (and, by extension, our) vulnerabilities.  


Plus, I think having to overcome the adversities they experienced may have led both of them to trivialize whatever medical or other problems they may have had.  I think now of an activist who is a dear friend:  Jay Toole.  He has had various health problems which, I suspect, are due to having lived a more stressful life (a family situation so terrible I can scarcely imagine it, and having to live in a world even more hostile to "butches" than the one I have experienced as a trans woman) and to his attempts to be strong for all of those for whom he is working.  There is also, of course, the issue of getting health care that is appropriate for his physical needs as well as sensitive toward the ways in which he differs from most people.  


In the end, though, I believe the most important parallel between Jay's and Alexis' health problems is this:  They put others before themselves.  Alexis said that everything she did was motivated by love; knowing Jay, I believe that he has similar, if not identical, motivations.  He never demeans those against whom he has to fight; instead, he sees them as people who can be educated and won over.  From what I've heard about Alexis, she had a similar way of seeing her opponents, whom neither she nor Jay would label as enemies.


Although I never had the opportunity to meet Alexis Rivera and have only heard and read about her work, I feel I owe her a debt of gratitude.  We may have lost her "too soon," but wherever she is going will be better for her energy and spirit.

Not Standing Idly By Transgendered Youth

There are days when I wish I'd gotten on a bus, or my bike, the day after I graduated high school and gone to some place where nobody knew me.  Then, I could have done whatever I needed to do to begin my transition into my life as a woman.

However, I also realize that such a thing would have been infinitely more difficult than it is now.  Part of the reason for that, of course, has to do with societal attitudes.  While many of us still face ostracism, and worse, there was even less understanding of, and hostility directed toward, us three and a half decades ago than there is now.

Another reason why transitioning into a life in my true gender would have been more difficult is, of course, the cost. I, like most new high school graduates, didn't have the money necessary for everything from psychotherapy and hormonal treatments--let alone surgery.  In fact, about the only way I could have gained access (legally, anyway) to that much money was through a loan--which I could have used only to go to college.

Still another thing that would have made my journey much more arduous and perilous than it has been is the lack of facilities and competent (let alone willing) providers of health care and other services for transgenders.  In most places, such facilities and services didn't exist at all; those services and techniques in use at the time were, at best, primitive compared to what we have today, simply because so few providers and policy-makers understood our needs and concerns.

So, it is heartening to read about resources and people available to trans people, especially the young, that weren't available in my youth.  

In particular, I'm glad to see someone like Dr. Norman Spack doing the kind of work he does.

Dr. Spack has worked at the Boston Children's Hospital for 39 years.  In his early days at the hospital, he treated street kids as a volunteer on a medical van.  Some of those young people were "throwaways" who were rejected by their families and communities because of their gender variance.    That is how he first learned of the difficulties faced by transgender children and teenagers.

Later, a colleague referred a young transgender adult, who was a Harvard graduate, to him.  This patient introduced the doctor to other transgender young adults.  Dr. Spack would become one of the few doctors who was willing to provide care and treatment for transgenders.  Even today, many doctors are reluctant or unwilling to take on trans patients, let alone those who are young adults or children.

Five years ago, Dr. Spack co-founded the Gender Management Services Clinic, or GeMS, at the hospital.  This clinic provides many services to transgender children and teenagers.  Among the most controversial is treatment with hormonal suppressants that delay the onset of puberty.  In addition to relieving depression and cutting down on self-destructive behaviors, the treatment buys time for the transgendered child.  A teenager is better able to decide whether or not to start taking the hormones of the "opposite" that trigger permanent physical changes.  Hormonal suppression treatments, on the other hand, are fully reversible.

Dr. Spack's work at the clinic is not limited to medical treatments.  He, who comes from a family of noted Jewish educators, does what he can to reassure this young patients that God has not played a trick on them.  "Things happen," he tells them. "It's not because of anything you did.  It's our job to find a way for you to be balanced, to be happy."

His inspiration for his work, he says, comes from Leviticus:  If your neighbor is bleeding by the side of the road, you shall not stand idly by the blood of your neighbor."

It Gets Better For Them, Too

By now, you've probably seen the ads, Public Service Announcements and videos that try to reassure LGBT youth that "It Gets Better."  Columnist Dan Savage started the project; since then, a number of celebrities, including President Obama, have made videos bringing that message to You Tube viewers.

So far, we've seen adults giving that message of hope to young people.  And, young people have offered it to their peers and those slightly younger than themselves.

However, children and teenagers who are, or believe themselves to be, on the LGBT spectrum aren't the only ones who need to hear such a message. Sabine Bartlett knows that very well.

She was taunted and bullied--but not for being part of the "rainbow" herself.  Rather, kids harassed her--to the point that she's now home-schooled--because her mother, who is divorced from her father, transitioned into manhood.

Her mother began that process when Sabine was 13.  Now, three years later, she says, "It's hard to face the fact that someone who is close to you changes at all--especially a change that big."  She "felt a sense of loss," she recalls, until a year later, when she saw that her mother was "a much happier person."

This sixteen-year-old has some great wisdom to share with any of her peers who might be in a position like hers:  "It usually gets easier after a while and, despite the changes, your parent will always be the same person.  Only, maybe a bit happier."

He Would Have Had An Easier Time In Georgia

The State of Georgia actually makes one aspect of life for transgender people easier than the City of New York does.

Yes, you read that right.

How did I learn that?  Experience.

You see, I was born in Georgia.  I spent only the first seven months of my life there and have only been there once, for a few hours, since then.

After I had my surgery, I had to send my birth certificate, a certified letter from Dr. Bowers and a certified copy of the court order for my name change, along with $35.  Within two weeks, a new birth certificate with my new name and true gender arrived in the mail.

Compare that with what happened to Louis Birney, right here in New York City. Around the same time I had my surgery, he had his.  He is nearly two decades older than I am.

He sent the letter from his surgeon to the City's Department of Health, which issues birth certificate.  (In Georgia, they're issued by the Department of Public Records.)  In response, the DoH demanded a psychiatric report and detailed surgical records in order to turn the "F" to an "M" on his birth certificate.

Manhattan State Supreme Court Justice Paul G.Feinman has ruled that the Health Department should re-evaluate Birney's case.  The judge also questioned the Department's understanding of "the lives and experience of transgender people," noting that "It does not seem likely that an individual would go through all the required years of preparation for surgical transition, including psychotherapy, undergo major surgery, assume life under his or her new gender, and then decide it was all a mistake and change back."

Feinman faulted the Department had provided a "clear, straightforward list" of requirements for changing his birth certificate.  To their credit, the Georgia officials provided such a document for me.  So did the State Department before I applied for a new passport. 

It's about time for the city to catch up to Georgia and the State Department.  
 

What Is Denis Davila Afraid Of?

Would you let Jenna Talackova compete in your beauty contest?

If not, what are you afraid of?


I'd like to ask the latter question of Denis Davila, the National Director of Miss Universe Canada.  He claimed that only "natural born" women are qualified to compete in the pageant.  


However, Maria Keisling, the Director of the National Center for Transgender Equality, claims that she read the rules and couldn't find any prohibition against transgenders.  "It seems that they made (the rules) up on the fly to disqualify her," she explained.


In defending the ban on Talackova, Davila said, "Just because she can't compete doesn't mean we stopped loving her."

Why Bullying Is A Crime

Yesterday, I was talking with a friend of mine who is showing some signs of taking hormones but has not started to live full-time as a woman.  This friend is a few years older than I am and grew up under very different circumstances from what I experienced as a child.  However, there is at least one parallel between our childhoods and adolescent years:  Each of us was bullied.


Now, some might say that we were simply having experiences typical of adolescence, particularly for males.  You know what I mean: getting slammed into lockers, being taunted--that sort of thing.  However, what makes it different is that even though no one bullied us specifically for being transgendered, mainly because most people in our milieux had no idea of what that means, we were taunted because we were perceived as people who didn't fit into what we were "supposed to be" as males.  Plus, you might say that each of us was a kind of geek, albeit in different ways. 


What I just said about each of us could also have been said about countless other young people who have been bullied and harassed. Tyler Clementi comes to mind:  He was quiet, reflective and intense (as one might expect of an aspiring concert violin player).  Those qualities made him a misfit in a male college dormitory.  I don't know whether things have changed since I was in college, but as I recall, the atmosphere in such dorms really isn't so different from high school, or even junior high school.  If you don't "fit in", you are subject to harassment, and even physical violence.  And those who taunt you will also use the stereotypes about people like you to make your life miserable in all sorts of ways, or simply as a rationale to hate, shun and slander you.  I know; such things have been done to me, and they have been done to my friend.


Some people say that those of us who are bullied or harassed should conform more to whatever is around us.  Such an expectation is as illogical as it is disrespectful.  Telling someone who is slight of build and who may have health issues to "toughen up" is a kind of taunt, whether or not it's intended as one.  As it happens, my friend did that, at least to some degree, by learning some combat techniques from her father, who was in the Special Forces.  But, although she is not physically imposing, she was healthy enough to be able to make the moves her father taught her. However, not every kid is like that.  Likewise, not everyone can change his or her personality to suit a situation.  I don't know how you turn a shy, diffident person into someone who is more boisterous and cocky.  I'm not so sure I'd even want such a thing:  I've learned all sorts of things from those shy people that I don't think I could have learned from other kinds of personalities.


Anyway, bullying and harassment aren't simply rites of passage or "boys being boys."  They are a form of terrorism, for they are ways of attempting to intimidate someone into some sort of submission to someone who exploits his or her status as a privileged "normal" person.  They are attempts to deny someone the right to be who he or she is.  In other words, they are ways of preventing a person from living simply because he or she is somehow different from others.  

99 Steps

The National Center for Transgender Equality (NCTE) has just issued a new Blueprint for Equality. It outlines 99 steps that could be taken to improve the lives of transgender  Americans.   The steps are classified among such areas as Housing and Homelessness, Safe and Supportive Schools and Health Care Access.  Also, there are sections about Immigration, Travel, Documents and Privacy as well as Military Service and Honoring Our Veterans, all of which are issues that are all but completely missed by the mainstream media.

It's particularly gratifying to note that even in areas like Safe and Supportive Schools that have recently been part of the national conversation, the report makes useful suggestions that go well beyond what even policy-makers, let alone the mainstream media, have discussed.  For example, the report recommends that the Department of Education should mandate that all high schools provide comprehensive suicide prevention education--which includes discussion of LGBT youth and why they are at increased risk--to all high-school students.  

Another thing I like about the report is that it points out the importance of the efforts parents and youth educators have made in bringing about safer schools.  It also mentions the work done by individuals as well as small local organization in helping to get trans elders the care they need, among other things.  As I have maintained, in this blog and in my other communications, the real change will happen at the local level and will start with individual people, working alone or in small groups and families.  More than one Civil Rights activist said, in essence, that anti-discrimination laws will mean only so much if the people whose rights are protected by those laws aren't seen as their friends, neighbors, co-workers, brothers, sisters and members of their community rather than as merely Blacks, Hispanics, Asians, Gays, Transgenders or members of any other "minority" group you care to name.