13 August 2010

Love Now?

I know I haven't been posting much in TT lately.  But I haven't forgotten about this blog, or any of you who are reading this.

Probably the most interesting thing I can say right now, at least in regards to my new life, is that I'm starting to think about love again.  Let me amend that:  I didn't stop thinking about love.  But at the time of my surgery, I decided that finding, getting or keeping a partner was not a priority.  If someone came along, that might have been nice.  However, I realized that the days and months that followed my surgery would be focused--without any intention on my part, really--first on healing, then on starting and developing my new life. 

I knew that the way I felt about many people and things would change.  It was a bit like the early days of my sobriety, and that is the reason why people in twelve-step programs advise newcomers not to start new relationships or to break up existing ones (unless they're abusive) during the first year.  It's one of the better pieces of advice they give, even if it's the one people are most likely to go against.

Now, a year and a month after my surgery, I am thinking I might like a companion.  This time, I'll probably seek someone close to my own age, spiritually and mentally as well as chronologically.  One thing I've learned is that you can't teach someone your life experience, and no matter how well you can describe and explain, a person who's significantly younger just isn't going to understand why you do and don't one thing (or person!) or another.