19 November 2008

A New Rhythm: Blame It On The Moon--Or Hormones?

Another night at the college. Yes, I am out of my mind. What can I tell ya?

So will tomorrow be like Tuesday, which also followed a night of my staying at the college? I felt fine through my morning classes. But during my midday break, I started to nod off in my office and dragged myself through my afternoon class. Tomorrow I have those classes, plus an evening class.

A couple of weeks ago, I told my mother that I've been turning into something of a night owl: I will often stay up to two or three in the morning to read, write or do some research on one thing or another on the Internet. And then, if I can sleep late that morning, I do.

I'm not sure of why I do this. Could it be the hormones, and the changes that have resulted from taking them? Or does it have something to do with age?

My mother used to fall asleep around the time the Johnny Carson show ended--or even later. If she was still awake, she'd watch some movie or another that was shown only in the wee hours of morning, and fall asleep to that. And I have known other women who stayed up later than their husbands or boyfriends. The housewives would iron clothes or prepare foods they were going to cook the next day, or even later. Others would read or engage in other solitary activities. Their reasons were the same: They could get things done at those hours when no one else was awake and making demands on them.

Now, when I'm at home, the only ones who make demands of me are Charlie and Max. And what do they want? To be fed and watered, And stroked. Or sometimes they want to use me for a rubbing post, or they want to curl up with me. The difference is that they don't whine or complain; they purr. They both have deep, resonant purrs, and when they're both curled up with me, it's much better than being in a vibra-massage chair! And they don't seem to mind when I live by a lunar schedule: They sleep when and where they feel like it.

Lunar...I wonder if that's the answer to the questions I posed. Maybe I'm living by more of a lunar cycle now. If astrology, any number of religions and mythologies you can name, and at least half of all the poets and artists who ever lived--not to mention more than a few scientists --are right, then the hormones probably are responsible for the change in my quotidien cycles.

I don't think any of them (except, perhaps, for a few of the scientists) said anything like that directly. But it always seems that that the moon and femaleness, or at least femininity, are always linked in everything from poem to postulate. Moon deities have been, more often than not, female. And various forms of insanity have been considered feminine and lunar. So, too, have the tides, long before any scientist established the connection between them and lunar magnetism.

Tides--Moon--Estrogen? I'm willing to go along with that one. Both the sea and the moon have been described as harsh mistresses. I have never been called anything like that. Harsh, yes. Mistress...Well, actually, a girlfriend of mine used to call me her mistress. I guess you could say she opened the door of my closet, at least a little.

You can't keep the moon and the tides in a closet. I guess I should have known. Actually, I did but I acted as if I didn't.

Wasn't there a pop song called "Blame It On The Moon?" Could I blame it on the hormones? It wouldn't fit the meter or rhythm of that line very well, would it. I guess that I'd need a new rhythm. I kinda hope that: After all, I have been developing a new rhythm, haven't I?

And who or what is there to blame for that?